#well just make me cry early in the morning why dont you

[seventh-district]

7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos

[simpjaes]

u said hard hours so LET ME DELIVER ☝🏼

cant help but imagine jake being so DOWN BAD for his gf like its so cute but also hes so dam horny all the time ??? movie night w the friendgroup? jake has his fingers in u. sitting in a cramped car on his lap w everyone otw to a party? yea ur cockwarming that mf. u happen to wear the cutest skirt to ever exist in his eyes? ur not making it out the door i fear 💔

the man truly does not give a fuck like why is his dam sex drive so high LET HER RESTTT (but u love it ofc) and dont get me started on the friends theyre so scarred having to hear yalls moans everytime they enter ur shared apt FREE THEMMN 🙏🏼

high sex drive, super horny, very publicly fingering you ! jake?

Ok first and foremost, Jake's roomies are very much scarred but also very much used to the fact that he's constantly in you in some way or another.

Like, they do kinda worry more for you than their own eyes and ears? Then again, most of those moans they have to hear, as if it's a soundtrack to their early morning teeth-brushing or late night lonely cry, are yours.

You're not suffering. They know it. Jake knows it.

that's why, movie nights it's like, kind of expected that you're gonna be letting out sighs during parts of the movie that goes suddenly silent. The issue is, now they just don't know whether they should look or not?

Jay, in particular, struggles not to let his eye stray to that moving hand under the blanket. At this point, why even have a blanket? They all know Jake is knuckle deep, hitting all the right spots for you.

After that halloween party at Sunhoon's house? cramped up in the car with you in his lap because one of the other men got lucky and decided to bring a girl home too, the two of you still stole the show.

That girl, the one Jay brought home, ultimately asked to be let out of the car at a random gas station because it was a bit much for her to be witnessing such a thing. Not Jay though, he definitely noticed, watched, remembered, and kept the memory for the next time a girl ditches him.

It was clear your skirt was pulled up, i mean, it was sitting on your hips?! Jake was clearly thrusting up with every bump the car hit. Cock warming right there? arm to arm with his buddies? You fucking bet.

In all fairness, Jake has a high sex drive, it's not like any of his friends could fix that. If anything, they were thankful you kept him tamed. Kept him safe, even if it was between your legs in front of them.

Oh well.

[codnriddlewhore]

A/N: guys idk how to make thos links someone teach me plsssss and i hope u like this, i decided to post 2 shorter parts instead of 1 long one, felt nicer. next part is gonna be set some years later and itll be maaaybe a tad bit happier. dont hesitate to say anything, good or bad, mwah

wc: 965

She left earlier, of course.

The day after, to be precise. It was a slow and quiet morning. She felt at peace and torn apart at the same time. Can you feel that way? Maybe like someone that felt content with the way they lived their life, though now being stuck in a tornado.

Tom´s wife was sitting on the breakfast table with one leg propped up on the chair, wearing one of his jumpers and a teacup in her hand, smiling to herself and only having kissed him good morning and asked if he wanted tea. It angered him. Of course it did, she was always and every day the biggest chatterbox in the morning, excited about the day. He sometimes joked that it annoyed him. He hoped she realized the joke. He lived off her feeding him her presence. And who smiles like that, does he have a stain on his tie? Did she pack him heart shaped-sandwiches? I mean what else could´ve-

“Why aren´t you getting dressed? We`ve got to leave in-“

He checks his watch.

“exactly 13 minutes. I love you, but I know you wouldn´t make it.

She looks up from her tea, smiling again. He could sense it wasn´t the adorable type, it made his stomach turn. Something was wrong.

Well of course something was wrong Riddle, you´re ignoring the fact that you weren´t able to breath after the argument last night and that, you incontrollable child threw up all over the fucking bathroom you-

“Oh Minerva took the 2nd years to Hogsmeade for the morning, got 3 free periods.”

Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar. You never lie to me, you´ve never lied to me- What did I do, please, I´m begging you to go back day before yesterday with me I can´t fucking stand this

Of course he knew what he did, though did it deserve such a reaction? From both of them?

She stands up, gets very close to him and musters a real smile, one that made her eyes really small and showed her gums. It took all of her willpower left to do so. For him, It made his before mentioned train of thought stop.

Okay, of course it´s still her. It´s his wife.

She straightens his wobbly tie, there was no need to do so on other mornings. Another look in his eyes, knowing she´s the probably the only person that will see the truth in them. The fear. The other wobbly thing in the room were his legs when she kissed him, deeply, not hungry, but lovingly and meaningfully.

“Be nice. They´ll love you”

“Pfft, absolutely, don´t they always?”, he didn´t want to make a joke in such a moment but I guess he felt human, wanting to lift the atmosphere.

In the years after, they´d both remember this moment countless of times, she grinning like a child that remembered their last cool birthday party and he as in the objectively worst choice of words he ever made.

It was time, she felt it in the air. She'd die otherwise. Her to-do-list was now fairly simple, though the circumstances added some points.

pack Cry Put music on to distract Sob Pack Unpack Sob Look forward to life Pack Leave her faveorite blanket. He secretly thinks it´s fluffy. He gets cold easily. cry Cry happy tears because how fortunate is she to have spent 3 years with such a magnificent person. Pack Write note Cry but just a tad Breathe. Make tea. Put a lid on his cup so it stays hot. Breathe Smile Leave

Tom came home early. Who fucking cares about the pre-OWLs, he knows there´s the quidditch finale tonight and no one will concentrate. 1st day after Christmas break, whose idea was that.

Was she still in the school? He didn´t see her, though he didn´t particularly go look for her, he knows when to back off. She sometimes “regenerated” in her own space.

He got comfortable in his house and went into the ki- Did he forget his tea this morning? Seems unusual.

a note.

No.

In a pace an Olympic fast-walker would be jealous of, he makes his way to the library and sits down in the old, brown leather chair. His eyeballs hurt from his palms pressing into them, a strategy from the orphanage when he was first mocked for crying, it prevented the tears wonderfully. Tom sat like that for a few minutes, his left leg bouncing up and down and increasing in speed.

No.

Abruptly Tom stands up and walks over to the bookshelf with her little detective novels and big encyclopedias on algae and what not. His shaking hand pulls one out, the title doesn´t matter. He stares at it. He smells it. It doesn´t smell like her, at all. Why would it? It´s just a book. Was she real?

From his mouth comes not a growl, not a scream, what is it? He simply knows he hasn´t made that noise in a very long time and it almost accurately described his emotions. Almost. Nothing ever really will, he believes, though he´ll find a word for word description of his thoughts many years later. The book is now in about 14 pieces, torn apart, unreadable. Something wet runs over his hot cheeks. The knee-part of his grey slacks is ruined by the wet grass. He thought he´d suffocate inside.

Dearest Tommy,

I think I said everything I meant last night, though my devotion to you is hard to word.

You are the most precious, wonderful thing that has happened to me.

I want you to accept yourself.

To see yourself as I do.

You´re too much of a gift to existence and love in general to reduce yourself to a cause.

I love you, my Darling.

There were a few more words in between, but the tear stains made them unreadable. He´d get to reading it at some point. Maybe.

[hannah-banana-lou]

Come back to me

So to start off with, i hate a lot of fanfics that include the (y/n) character as a barely legal, fragile, tiny thing that is oblivious to sex because that is just not me! i love alot of fanfics that have a lot of world building, real life issues and are really in depth, mixed in with some smut, steamy romance and fluff. i know this will not be for everyone but for those who do enjoy that, i hope this does it for you!

Husband William afton x Wife female reader - AU.

Planning on making this into a series if people like it!

content warning: marriage issues, smut, verbal abuse, age gap couple - william (early 50's) Reader (mid/late 20's)

UNDER 18'S DNI!!!

Come back to me (pt.1)

A glance. A kiss. Lips crashing down unto yours. he has you pinned against the bedroom door, panting heavily. Hands exploring places they've been so many times before. yours hurriedly unbuttoning his shirt. desperation. his hooking their way into your sweatpants, teasingly close to where you need him, where you're yearning for him. his kisses moving from your lips, slowly trailing along your jaw before reaching your neck. he bites, suckles and licks the skin there, sending tingles throughout your body, reaching to your core. you're lost in the moment, feeling his beard scratch so deliciously against your skin, his lips soft but desperate. You need this. He needs this.

"mommy!" your ears prick up. the sound of one of your twins calling for you. you ignore it, trying to focus on the present scene unfolding in front of you.

"mommy, look at me!" again. calling for you. you can feel a haze slipping over you. mind going grey, unable to feel the kisses being planted.

a snap of your husbands fingers and you jump. you're in the garden, sitting on the patio next to william. the morning sun is beaming, your two children running around the garden, screaming and giggling. you glance over at william, he is staring at you. the silence between you both brooding ... deafening.

"your children are calling for you. just gonna ignore them?" he grunts out. a dig at you, most definitely.

you shake your head in response, taking the cup filled with coffee off the table, moving it up to your lips and taking a sip, you frown. it's gone cold.

the better part of the morning is spent playing with your children, trying to forget that you have a marriage counselling appointment in the early afternoon. not the first and most definitely not the last. no doubt william will find some excuse to not attend, he thinks marriage counselling is a scam, a waste of money. he refused to even acknowledge the idea until you nagged him for weeks. he eventually gave up.

you're now sat in the car, he's driving. the silence is painful. the drive to the appointment, uncomfortable.

your in the appointment. all his responses are grunts or a few word answers, while you're pouring your heart out, begging for him to just talk to you. a usual occurrence during these appointments.

You stop crying, lost in thought. maybe he was having an affair, it would explain a lot... no. yes. wait... would he do that to you? when would he have the time? god. don't be silly, he isn't cheating on you.... right? Before your mind can trail off anymore the therapist throws a question to you both.

"what are the biggest issues within your marriage? we have discussed this before briefly, however i'm curious as to the individual answers. William, why don't you start us off? yes?"

you glance over at william. he is staring directly at the therapist, poor woman, having to endure his death stare. his eye twitches slightly. he's trying to calm himself before answering. you avert your gaze back to the floor.

"Nothing is wrong with my marriage. i dont believe there are issues" your husband spits out.

the older woman nods, accepting his answer before she turns to you and nods again, signalling for you to answer.

"well... for starters i feel like he doesn't want me around anymore. he avoids me like the plague. there is no love, no affection, no.... no intimacy anymore" you begin.

william adjusts himself in his seat. clearly annoyed at the intimacy comment. you keep your gaze focused on the therapist.

"He wont talk more than a few words to me without snapping at me, he's stopped sleeping in our bedroom, he's taken the spare room instead. i never see him anymore. i'm... i... I've just had enough. it's hard living in a space that you have known as home for many years, yet feel so unwelcome at the same time" you finish. you can feel his stare burning into the side of your head.

the older woman nods again. that's all she seems to do, just nod. it can be quite annoying. she looks between you both.

"Y/N why do you feel like William has become this way with you?"

you sigh, not knowing the answer. you could only answer with what your mind has provided as far fetched ideas over the past few months. you shrug. "i'm not sure. i have a lot of ideas, none that could be close to the truth though" you respond, voice soft, deflated. like you've given up.

"One good way to get your marriage on track is open communication. Y/n why dont you share your ideas with William. it's a good place to start"

you sigh again and look over at william. he is staring at the floor. annoyed written all over his features. he looks over at you

"William..." you start with a sigh. "i... uhm... i have begun to think that maybe... you have fallen out of love with me" his gaze softens, almost looking heartbroken that you could ever think that. he shakes his head. he goes to reach out his hand, it lifts ever so slightly but stops immediately, his fists tightened, a small noise escaping his lips. almost like the whimper of a wounded animal as he quickly avoids your gaze, looking back down at the floor.

you take a moment to process what just happened. what was that noise? sound of affirmation? or denial? maybe his reaction is something to be hopeful for?

"any other ideas you have that you would like to share?" she adds quickly.

you nod, taking a deep breath. you knew he wasn't going to like this one but you had to get it out before the thought consumes you.

"William, i have thought for a while that you are having an affair." you blurt out.

his softened gaze quickly turns to a grimace, furrowed eyebrows. followed with a scoff before he stands up, grabbing your hand "session over. thanks for your time doc, see you next month" he mumbles as he pulls you out the door. the doctor looking more so confused than ever as she watches the two of you leave abruptly.

you get back into the car. oh he's pissed. maybe he is embarrassed that you brought that up? self conscious of how he looks in front of the therapist maybe?

he drives in silence before turning into an empty parking lot near a wooded trail path, probably for dog walkers.

he parks up before turning to you, face twisted with anger "An affair? an affair? .... AN AFFAIR?" He snaps. you nod "it just makes s-" he cuts you off "NO Y/N! NO! the falling out of love i can understand but an affair? i have done nothing to make you think that way"

you look at him confused.

"you're not affectionate. you're only happy when you're around the kids, you're only affectionate in public for 'appearances', you wont sleep in the same bed as me, let alone fuck me anymore, so you must be getting it from someone else!" you angrily snap out, you knew being with an older man would have it's problems but not to this extent.

he rolls his eyes. scoffs. "you're ridiculous. i am not having an affair!"

"it makes more sense than 'i'm stressed' " you quickly respond

he scoffs again but doesn't respond. just stares out the windshield of the car into the woods adorning the outskirts of the parking lot. the forest looked peaceful, serene almost. you continue to stare at him waiting for a response. receiving nothing.

you place your hand on his thigh gently "Will... Bear. please just talk to me... let me in again" you whisper. no response from him. he smiles in his mind at the use of the old nickname for him.

he was your bear. Tall, grumpy and hairy as one. Used to have you in fits of laughter when he would groan and snore, you telling him the attributes resembled a bear when you were first dating. hence the nickname.

Something snaps inside of him.

Your argument before, playing through his mind.

He looks over at you, eyes boring into yours. he reaches his hand out, cupping your cheek. it's been too long since he last touched you.

He moves from your cheek and trails his fingers through the mids of your hair before leaning down, hand clamped on the back of your head, moving you up to meet him halfway, lips on yours. slow. tender. A sense of yearning in the kiss. you let out a small surprised noise. not complaining in the slightest. just surprised, shocked even.

he pulls away ever so slightly, lips still touching. a small protesting whine leaving your lips as you desperately try to kiss him again. he stops you. nuzzling his nose against yours. hot breaths caressing each others skin. his lips soft. as you remember them. a free hand intertwined with your left hand, fingers caressing your wedding and engagement rings.

"I've not fallen out of love with you bunny" he breaks the silence, his words barely above a whisper. desperation. yearning. sadness being carried in his voice.

[ayayabaroque]

Tears, Laughter, Sorrow.

corny, pero wla ako mapost e wla akong no choice last march pa 'to sa drafts CW: Angst? mostly none, corny writing, i hate writing esp since i cant think of anything good/this is why i dont post anymore ffs Spoilers for Lantern Rite '23, not sure if i mention anything but yk its just to be safe A/N: i love school, but i went from rank 1 to rank 3 and i absolutely hate everything and everyone im going to cry sorry for not posting anything recently(and ever), and as usual, English isn't my first language, so please don't have any high hopes for this piece. I might go back to completing the Slowly series but im not feeling well since i last went on here to write a serious fic Read utc!

*:･ﾟ✧ Zhongli *:･ﾟ✧ "Would you live to see Liyue's downfall, or always relive the one most painful moment you have felt in your lifetime?" You pause, thinking on an answer to your friend's question. "The latter. Liyue's downfall won't happen for another thousand years, I doubt that any of you would be attending my funeral any time soon." Your friend tears up at the thought. "Right... yeah probably right." "I'm kidding of course! An endless time loop would keep me stressed, I'd rather have you by my side." ... "I'm... relieved? Hey listen, it's getting late, you should be getting home. I'll see you tomorrow." It was unlikely for your friend to suggest to leave this early, but you don't mind, as long as you see them again tomorrow. Then again, it was too tiring to walk home just right now, maybe you could walk around the harbor, after all, you and your friend have been playing by the docks all day, without anything better to do. "I should be getting home back to Zhongli." you mutter. Although cold, the air in Liyue would always smell of various floral scents, specifically the Glaze Lily. You hated Glaze Lilies. There wasn't one word in the dictionary that could describe how much you loathe these cyan-petal, night-blooming lilies as much as you possibly could. Well, truth be told, you hated the person Zhongli associates with these blooms, and it drives you insane. Guizhong, Zhongli's late friend before the Archon War, used to be so close to him. He would return late from his ventures with his friend in tow that he forgets to come home to you every single time. You couldn't really argue with the reasoning he has, since he is more of your superior rather than a lover. It's been so long since he spent time with you without reminiscing about Guizhong, probably a little over your 429th birthday. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention you were old? The more Zhongli leaves you to mourn Guizhong's day of death on your day of birth, you resort to laughter every time he comes home instead. The false joy of seeing him return home after a mournful day which he marks Guizhong's passing, your laughter behind the façade you show for your lover. "How's Guizhong been? Any response yet?" you muse. "I prefer you not adding salt to my wound." "Oh yeah, you guys ended on rather good terms, it would be a shame if I were to slander her in front of her good friend." The statement always seems to make Zhongli seethe with fury, and it looks like he's had enough of your insults and remarks. "A true shame you did not get to know her, or were you busy burning away your lifetime serving false gods?" "You know well better than to bring my past stature into this conversation." It pains you to think about your past, when your parents sold you off to a minor god for wealth, leaving you to rot in the god's hands. "I'm tired, I do not wish to make this into a heated argument. Go to bed." ... "I honestly wish it was you instead of Guizhong, I miss her dearly." That was what made this memory painful, it was what made you cry in the eve, and sob in the morn. In the end, when you were asked the same question years ago, immortality seemed like a dream, now turned into a living nightmare. You only wish to awake from this horrible dream, again, and again, and again. "So... Would you live to see Liyue's downfall, or always relive the one most painful moment you have felt in your lifetime?" The question that would mark another day of the loop, spent in misery and sorrow. The days you've spent celebrating your birth over, and over again. "Happy 7,329th birthday, to me."

[fbfh]

light up the dark [XIII] - Leo Valdez x reader

wc: 2k

genre: drama, minor angst, action

warnings: minor Leo self loathing, Leo crying </3, questionable and obscure mythology usage, generally sketchy at best plotting (this outline is very old), Leo looks really fucking pretty in the snow

summary: Leo gets something important off his chest, then chases after you to make ammends. When he looks for you, he's met with soemthing entirely different than he expected, and way more than he bargained for.

song recs: pretty when you cry - lana del rey, meant to be yours - heathers obc, wasteland baby - hozier, roll up - the struts

a/n: okay we're getting to the last few parts aka where the outline gets questionable as fuck but the whole thing is hinged on the questionable parts so there's really not a way for me to change anything at this point we're all just along for the ride!! also this chapter (and maybe the next/last couple) will probably be on the shorter side bc I wasn't sure how much outline I would need to actually make a chapter so I undershot a little. the second reason is I'm burnt out lol. anyway enjoy!!

@yesv01 @magcon7280 @avashaye @perseajohnson @afidiofobia @thatmultifandomloser @yelenabel0vaswife @almostjollypizza @Fictionalcomforts  @lizziebitch33  @jacksondeeznuts @girlfriendwhoseawitch @urmum-xoxo @Asunnyhunny @dustyinkpages @cowboylikekelsey @legramilis @youkissedareaderinthedark @mrscarolscaramoucheplease @cosmiq-cloud @anything-forourmoony  @i-dont-remember-a-lot  @chasingpj @1dpjohoohp @mystic-writings   @babiesimagines @dreamerball @demirunner @if-only-i-was-fictional

It’s safely early morning now, and people are beginning to wake up. Throughout the different rooms in the house, blankets are flipped back and bedroom doors are opened, curtains are drawn, and groggy conversation is made over face wash and toothpaste and running water. After enough time wallowing in his self loathing, Leo gets up to look for you. Being petty like that only felt gratifying and justified for a few fleeting moments. After that he just felt bad. Like, really bad. He knew what he said was probably too harsh as soon as the words left his mouth and you bolted. Gods, why can't he just be a little more patient? 

He bets that Jason never would have said something like that to you, yet here he is, screwing up again. He tugs on the rest of his clothes, ending with a hoodie for the unseasonably cold weather, and leaves to find you. As he descends the stairs, a gust of freezing air washes over him. He looks for the source, and sees the front door is ajar. Snowflakes blow in, along with a few small, downy feathers that look almost pink in the diffused morning light struggling to get through the heavy dark clouds that continue to roll in. 

"Morning." He hears Jason's groggy voice behind him, "You're up early.” He turns around to see Piper standing next to him, yawning. They’re wearing matching pajamas, and have matching bed head. They’re so cute together it would make Leo a little sick on any other day. Jason's hair is sticking up in every direction, and he wipes the smudges off his glasses with the hem of his shirt. Leo hasn't seen his friends since last night, when they backed him up in front of Calypso - something he hadn't been expecting. 

Just the sight of them brings back a highlight reel of all the things that they said - along with the rest of his friends - in his defense. That paired with how much he wishes he could see you right now, make sure you’re okay, is enough to have tears welling in the corners of his eyes. Sure, what he said might have been coming from feeling very justifiably upset at the way he’s been treated until now, but that’s not your fault. He shouldn’t have lashed out at you like he did.

“You okay?” Piper asks, a note of concern in her voice. He’s clearly not, and she wants to know why right now. He takes in a shaky breath and squeezes his eyes shut. After a few moments, he tells them what happened -  or at least he tries to. He barely gets out about half the story before he stops, really not wanting to cry more than he feels like he’s about to. Jason and Piper share a look. It’s so early and they’re barely awake, but that’s not going to stop them from trying to help him. In their drowsy stupor, they hear the worst in his fumbled explanation. 

They share a regretful look. What they piece together is really disappointing, but they can’t say they’re totally surprised. They definitely are disappointed, they were really starting to root for you - especially compared to Calypso. It’s not your quick wit or sharp tongue that surprises them, it’s that you directed it at Leo. They’re not sure exactly what words were exchanged, just that Leo is really hurting over this, which is the one thing they don’t want. To make things worse, he’s really worried about you. They hear footsteps behind them.

“What’s going on?” This time it’s Annabeth’s groggy morning voice, and she’s closely followed by Percy, who looks like he’d rather still be asleep. 

“They got into a fight,” Jason says, trying to bring them up to speed - granted, he doesn’t have much more information than they do now. Leo lets out a frustrated sigh, trying to squeeze away his tears and pressing his hands into his face. He shakes his head before his eyes land back on the door. The wind blew it a little further open, and he can see your footprints make long, panicked strides in the growing snow on the ground. 

“I-” he chuckles, weepily, “I have to go find her…” He’s already descending the stairs when his friends start to protest. It’s so early and they’re all barely awake, the last thing they want is for him to jump into something if they’re not awake enough to help him out yet.

“Wait,” Piper starts, “maybe you should stay here.” 

“Yeah, maybe we should talk about this before you, you know, rush into anything.” Percy agrees. 

“Or make a stupid decision for a manipulative bitch and get nothing in return.” 

Everyone stops dead in their tracks as Calypso’s voice echoes through the hall. A collective sense of being found by the T-Rex in Jurassic Park passes over everyone, and the room stills. Only Calypso could make a room full of people with ADHD stand totally still. 

“She’s gone. Good riddance.” Calypso says, without a sliver of concern in her voice. “I mean it was just a matter of time before that little whore finally showed her true colors, and-”

“FOR GODS’ SAKE CALYPSO! CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?! PLEASE?!” 

The room falls silent again, and all eyes turn to Leo. He looks exhausted and exasperated and completely and utterly done. She stares at him, mouth agape, refusing to believe he’s talking to her like that.

“Excuse-” She starts, but before she can finish, he keeps going. He’s not going to let her steamroll him, not anymore.

“I mean, really! We can’t get through one goddamn day without you ruining something. Do you have to work at being like this?” He demands rhetorically, “Cause it seems like you must work pretty fucking hard to be so miserable all the time!”

No one could have ever predicted this. No one could have imagined that Leo would ever be the one to put Calypso in her place like this. 

“I am not-” 

“No, no, no! I don’t give a shit!” He roars with an exasperated laugh, “I don’t want to hear any more of your bullshit or whining or constant complaining! I’ve had enough. We’ve all had enough, so just…” He laughs, trailing off as he realizes that he’s never going to get through to her. His only option is to get away from her. Or, he supposes, get her away from him. 

“Get out.” 

It’s silent again. All the commotion brought the last few people out of their rooms, so Nico, Will, Frank, and Hazel all heard most of what he had to say. They all stand there in shock as Calypso spews some more bullshit about not needing to take this and storms back into her room, presumably to pack her shit and leave. There’s a sense of giddy elation when she leaves. They have been waiting so, so long for him to really be able to stand up to her, to refuse being treated as shitty as she treats him. Percy makes some sassy remark behind her, and Piper is the first to congratulate him. Or she would have been, if he had stuck around long enough to celebrate. Piper jogs half way down the stairs, getting a glimpse of his dark, curly hair contrasting sharply with the snow. He’s out of the door before she can call his name. 

Leo barely registers how strange this whole snow storm is. It’s supposed to be spring, it should be ambiently warm with little flowers blooming, not look like a trailer for Frozen. In spite of how weird the weather is, he doesn’t care about that right now. He just wants to find you. He tracks through the snow rapidly accumulating on the ground, following your footprints until he loses track of them, getting lost or covered up by what is quickly turning into a blizzard. He shivers, pulling his jacket around himself tighter. He's a Houston boy, he's not prepared for all this wintery bullshit. He still loves snow, he thinks it's one of the prettiest, most magical things in the world, but it's not pretty when he’s worried about you being outside in it. 

Finally, he sees a figure in dark clothes shrouded in the blindingly white snowy landscape standing at the edge of the yard. He runs over, calling your name. He continues trudging through the snow, and when he’s close enough you turn around. Except it’s not you he’s met with. He stops dead in his tracks, stomach dropping as he struggles to remember her name after so many years. After a moment he remembers.

“Khione?!” He demands. He’s about to ask what the fuck she’s doing here. Before he can, she steps closer, lifting his chin up with her finger. 

“Well, well, well…” she says, and Leo’s surprised that he can hear her perfectly over the roaring wind of the storm. The storm she probably created, he realizes. “You are just as easy on the eyes as I remember you being.” 

A sickening chill runs down his spine at her words. Before he can even think of a reaction, she continues. 

“I’m sure you’re curious as to what brings me here.” She states, walking around him, eyes never leaving him. He feels like he’s being circled by a shark. “Well, you’re a smart boy, I’m sure you’ve heard the stories of how I got two gods to fall in love with me.” 

He hasn’t, but now doesn’t seem like a good time to bring that up. 

“Poseidon, I had wrapped around my finger.” She chuckles. “And Apollo…” The laughter evaporates, and her smile disappears, replaced by something more bitter.

“Apollo…” She stares into space, then her gaze hardens. “Apollo broke my heart.” She spits, turning away from him as she continues. 

“I swore I would never love again, I’d never let myself be fooled by a beautiful man with warm eyes and charming smile. And then,” she whips around to him, her gaze dangerous. “You showed up.” 

She walks closer to him, and Leo retreats a few steps on instinct. 

“You showed up, and were tantalizingly close, almost in my grasp.” Her expression grows cold. “Then you rejected me.” 

His stomach drops. 

“I tried to talk some sense into Apollo, get him to see what he’s missing, but he’s too much of a fool to see the prize in front of him.” She spits before flashing another dangerous grin. “But I got my revenge on him, you can be sure of that. He stole my heart, I stole something of his right back.” Leo’s brow furrows, trying to piece together what her words really mean, trying to connect the dots between this and everything else that’s going on. She lets out a crazed chuckle. 

“But I got my revenge.” She continues, getting even closer to him. She sizes him up, glowering at him predatorily. She chuckles darkly, and Leo sees something unhinged deep in her eyes starting to rise to the surface.

“And now, you will be my lover,” she laughs maniacally, “IN AN ETERNAL WINTER WASTELAND!” 

Her laughter reverberates through the swirling snow, and Leo’s stomach drops. Chills creep over his skin, but it’s not just from the cold.

“Okay!” He yells over the howling wind, as thick snowflakes collect on his eyelashes. “You are seriously in-fucking-sane!” He’s not sure she can even hear him, but it doesn’t matter. He’s not letting her get away with this, he’s not going to let her turn the world into a giant snow globe forever. He pulls his arms away from being wrapped up tight around himself and holds out his hands. They’re stiff from the cold, but that doesn’t stop him from summoning two huge balls of fire. They engulf him all the way up to the elbows, thawing him out a little. He takes a deep breath, steadies himself, and prepares to fight. Or more specifically, kick her frigid ass.

[longeyelashedtragedy]

“Can I ask you about your mum and dad then? Because reading about your background, it seems like a bit of a yin and yang of your parents--your dad was very driven and focused on his own career, and he passed on those attributes to you, and yet your mom does seem to be more nurturing, and developed the softer side of you. So one of the things I read is a quote that you said: a piece of advice your mom had passed on was, that you needed to learn to be kinder to yourself.”

“Hmm, yeah, I mean the yin and yang’s perfect, because my dad came from a very--he had a tough upbringing, much tougher than mine, he lost his father when he was very young, and had to fight to become a professional footballer, and he kind of carried that demeanor, very old school, very strong, would tell you--I remember driving home from Sunday morning games, and I’ve said this before, but he would be sort of like shouting at me in the car. Looking back I was like, I don’t understand how you would be shouting at me when I was like 12, 13 years of age, and then I’d get home and I would be crying and my mum would be the one that would bring me, I don’t know, my lunch or a cake or something--that’s probably why I was a chubby kid--but, she would be the one that would settle me down.  

So I think, I’d like to think that I took both of those sorts of sides of it in my professional career.  Got driven by my dad in that tough way, but had my mum giving me those sorts of moments and I remember as I got older my mum would always be the one--cause I’m quite reactive, if I, if I took criticism when I was playing I’d want to say something back, I’m a bit like that in life, and my mum was always the one to say to me, ‘Just rise above it.’ I remember her saying that all the time, ‘Rise above, rise above,’ and when I was younger I couldn’t quite understand it as much as I probably think about it now, and I still don’t always rise above it, don’t get me wrong! I’m reactive still, but when you have those moments sometimes you think about...mum’s words, and probably my dad’s actions were probably what kind of molded me in a footballing sense, for sure, but in a life way as well.”

“...At the time, it sounds like it was quite difficult and painful to be shouted at by your dad, and to be given some home truths. Do you think on reflection, that was him instilling a resilience in you so when you got to the challenges of professional football, you were able to draw on the experiences of sitting in the back of that car as a 12 year-old and cope with what came your way?”

“I think he would claim that was the plan.”

“Do you *not* think so, then?”

“No...I actually think it was just him. Um, if there was a nice fallout from it for me as I got older--it did probably make me a bit tougher, and I had some tough experiences as I got on the footballing ladder at West Ham, but with my dad I think he generally reacted how he saw fit at the time. I felt like, when I look back, that he was--not reliving his football career through me, but he’d done it, he’d fought to be this West Ham left back for 15, 20 years, and he himself used to talk about his deficiencies that he’d had when he was young, when he used to use running spikes and all these great old stories that your dad sort of tells you, and I think he took me on as a bit of a project, as a son, to try and see if he could make me into a professional footballer. And I felt that all the way up to my, my--I didn’t maybe cut loose from that feeling with my dad until my mid-20s really, of ‘oh must impress Dad when it comes to football,’ I used to remember looking up in the stands at West Ham or even my early Chelsea days, and think what he would have thought, and I needed to really grow out of that by that point, so yeah, I dont know how he’d planned it, I think it was just how he was.”

“So what led you to cut those ties that you stopped trying to impress him?”

“I think it was just my development and I think, as I see it, I turned from being a bit of a boy to a man.  I think it was a bit like...I relied a bit...Because my dad was quite dominant of me in the footballing sense, and actually in life to be honest, um, I became a little bit reliant on that, you know, it was like follow his word and his lead, and then when I moved across to Chelsea, started playing for England, started probably getting some success, I kind of thought actually no, no, when I thought everything that Dad said was right was when I was 12, and actually some things I don’t agree with, some things I don’t see the same as he sees them. Maybe that started to, yknow, look at my mum’s side, you know, there are different things in life, and I actually started to get--be my own person really, and I probably moved away, and...I’m going to make this sound like a big breakup, it’s not, but in my professional life I started to feel differently.”

[sleepy-achilles]

I’d love a fic of the FNAF au 👍🏻

So I deleted the whole fic I had. I've just watched the fnaf film and finally the whole fic idea came to me.

So obviously be careful if you want to watch the film. I'm taking the main storyline about Mike and abby and using that. The rest is winging it.

Notes- Not gonna lie it took me too long to finish this. To the point the quick ending ended up being awhole paragraph and cliff hanger. Sorry 😅 its been months and I forgot the original ending I had planned.

Family Of Destruction- Fnaf Au- Its Me.

------------------------------------------------------------------

John adjusts himself on the bench. "Ketchup makes everything better, isn't that right Johnny?" His Papa asks. "Yes!" John smiles. "No it doesn't." His father teases. Shawn rolls his eyes at the bigger man. "Dont listen to dad." Shawn huffs placing the burger down infront of John. "You should always listen to me. Just ignore papa" Taker huffs. Shawn turns to face him, knocking the soda can over. "Ah...Great." Shawn sighs picking the can up as Taker chuckles and turns towards the barbecue.

Shawn turns back towards John. "Im going to grab some paper towels. Keep an eye on your brother." Shawn tells him. "Yes papa" John nods, his blue eyes land on the baby brother in question. The boy was running around the trees, the old motorbike toy in the air. John takes in his outfit, black tshirt, with a red fox on his tshirt, black jeans with a rip in them from his rough housing and dirty red trainers.

He was obsessed with the outfit. It had his favourite freddy character on it, Foxy the pirate, the only pair of jeans he'd wear, the boy lived in joggers or shorts, and the only decent pair of trainers he wore. Despite being colourblind, he seemed to favour the bright red trainers over his others. Keeping them as the only wearable ones.

John stands up from the bench and begins walking towards his brother when something catches his attention. He tilts his head and walks towards the shiny thing. As he reaches it, he kneels down and pick it up. A security badge. "Da-" he cuts himself off as he hears a car start.

John's eyes widen as adrenaline and fear take over his body. Leon is gone. He drops the badge and pushes himself up off the ground. He runs towards the car and feels his heart break with each step. "LEON!" He screams as he spots his baby brother staring at him through the back window. "LEON!"

John runs past a tree and is no longer a lanky tween. No, he's now a adult, and still running. "L-LEON!" He stops as the car speeds off. His eyes close and hands shake as the sound of children laughing and his Papa crying fills his ears.

The children was new.

John opens his eyes and is greeted by his bedroom ceiling. He sighs as he brings a heavy hand up to scrub his face. "JOHNNNN!" The small voice yells. "Im up!" John groans. The now 20 year old sits up, his legs thrown over the side of the bed. Tiredness wracks his brain, as it has done for the past 12 years.

John goes on with his morning routine before joining the girl in the kitchen. "Im hungry." The red head frowns. "Why are you up so early cassie?" John asks as he moves towards the fridge. "Because I'm hungry." Cassie pouts. "So you couldn't make yourself cereal?" John questions as he grabs the one thing he knows she wants. "You promised me-" "waffles?" John finishes holding the box up. The girl gleams at him, nodding Violently. "Alright. You do your homework?" John asks as he moves to the toaster. (Do Americans have toasters?)

"Did you find a job?" She snaps back as he pushes the waffles down.

The siblings glance at each other. "No." They both speak at the same time.

"Well, there's a new opening in the papers, a security gig!" Cassie smiles as she slowly pulls her homework out of the paper. "Yeah where too?" John asks as he starts on coffee. "That old pizza place, Freddys!" John's heart sinks.

The image of the badge coming straight to his head.

"Hey, didn't dad use to own that place?" Cassie asks. John swallows and nods. "Yeah, him and Grandpa Paul." John whispers. "Whyd they close it?" Cassie asks. John keeps his gaze on the coffee machine. How do you explain a bunch of children went missing from the restaurant your father owned without making it seem like it was him?

"You know, no one left to run it after dad passed." John lies. "After he killed himself." John looks at her. "Who told you that?" He asks. "Papa died of a broken heart, dad couldn't handle the grief of losing both papa and Lee, so he killed himself." Cassie shrugs. John just stares at her.

She wasn't wrong. But she wasn't right.

No, there father was broken hearted. But he wasn't just grieving the loss of their family, but the loss of those children. The children who went missing in his business.

A business he built in hopes of bringing joy, happiness something his childhood lacked. And all it brought was pain and misery.

John looked up as the toaster pops.

Why are they suddenly looking for a guard? Who's looking for a guard?

And that's how John began his long, dark journey with his childhood.

------------------------------------------------------------------

John taps his boots together. His legs stretched, feet on the old desk. He glances at the old monitors, eyes landing straight on the animiatrionics.

His favourite was always freddy. Bonnie was always close behind. He smiles as his eyes land on the fox. His baby brother was obsessed with it. He always found the pirate creepy.

He pauses his thought and drops his feet, leaning closer to the monitor. He could have sworn that curtain was closed. There wasn't a camera in pirates cove either.

He's about to stand when the front door buzzer goes off. His eyes snap towards the outside camera to see a police officer. "What the-" the buzzing doesn't stop. "Jesus, I'm coming" John groans grabbing his security jacket, putting it on as he rushes through the building.

He opens the door. "Yes?" The man examines him. "Officer Orton and you are?" Orton asks. John stares at him. Is he about to lie to a police officer? Yes. Yes he is. "John Cena. New security guard" John smiles. "May I come in, John?" Orton asks. "Um sure. Is something wrong?" John asks moving back. He watches as Orton moves in. "No. This place is on my usual route, so safe to say I was shocked the lights were still on." He explains as he stops infront of the cast. John pauses as he spots foxys curtain is now closed.

"What do you know about this place?" Orton asks, turning to look at John. John was definitely going to hell.

"Not much." John lies. "Place closed down a few years ago after six kids went missing. Owner killed himself a few months after. Some say it was guilt, others say it was the grief of losing his husband and youngest son" Orton explains, eyes lingering on the curtains. "And what do you believe?" John asks. "The whole world could see how tore up he was about the loss of his son. I don't believe he'd harm another child. But I do believe this place is connect. To his sons disappearance as well." Orton answers.

John's heart clenches. "Feel bad for his oldest. Lost three family members and now has to raise his baby sister all on his own. Kid wasn't given a chance." Orton mutters pressing the showtime button. John watches as the animatronics come to life. "Hes probably not behind this though." Orton states. "No?" John asks. "God no. If its anyone it's the co-owner Bearer. Always cared more about money than ethics." Orton huffs. "Hes in town?" John questions, feeling his skin crawl. "Fuck if I know" Orton shrugs, eyes lingering on bonnie. "If your asking me, he's the evil bastard behind the kidnappings." Orton mutters as his radio starts going off.

John watches the officer. "I gotta go. Try to not let this place get to ya, yeah John?" Orton asks. "It won't, orton-" "call me randy." Randy smirks shaking his hand. "Randy." John smiles nodding. "See you around." John watches as Randy walks out.

The door shuts and the music suddenly stops.

John turns and looks at the animals. "This is going to be a long week.." he sighs hitting the button, watching the curtains close.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Cassie huns to herself as she draws. The colourful characters of the freddy crew. A voice joins in with her humming.

She looks up to see a boy, he must be younger than her. He has blonde hair, a black streak in his curtain. He has green and blue eyes, tan skin and beautiful freckles. She's seen him before. He was always nice and sweet to her. "Hello" cassie smiles. The boy just tilts his head before pointing down at the picture. Cassie looks down at it. "Oh those are the robots from my dad's restaurant" cassie smiles looking back up. She takes in the boys outfit, immediately spotting foxy. "But you must know that" cassie smiles.

"Cass? Who are you talking to?" Scott calls as he walks in. Cassie looks at her godfather. "What?" Cassie turns back to see the boy gone. "I..I saw a boy..I swear-" cassie looks back at Scott. "A boy? Can you describe him to me?" Scott asks moving closer. "Yeah" she nods as he sits down.

------------------------------------------------------------------

John stares at the car as it speeds away. He turns as the children start laughing. He freezes at the children stood behind him. One girl, five boys. One of the boys faces is hidden by a golden freddy mask. He stands in the front. One of the boys stands behind him and the others are stood behind them in a long line.

The furthest boy has pale skin and dark hair, he seems to be dressed as bonnie. The boy next to him has a ginger mowhawk and seems to he foxy. The next boy has a buzzcut and is dressed like freddy. The only girl has long blonde hair and is dressed like chica. The boy behind golden freddy has long black hair, tears staining his cheek, red rosy cheeks.

"D..did you see who took my brother?" John asks. The golden head tilts. And then the kids take off running. "Wait!" John gasps turning and chasing the slowest kid, the one dressed as foxy. John, not paying attention, tricks on a rock both of them do. John pushes up and grabs the kid.

The kid screams and drags his hook across John's arm. John pushes back and gasps as he hits the floor of the pizzeria.

He sits up and his arm immediately throbs. He looks down to see blood. "What the.." he glances at the monitor to see foxy gone from his stage. He pulls himself up and goes to change the cameras when his alarm goes off.

6am.

Time to go home.

Night 3, done.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Scott watches as Kevin paces. Kevin stops as John walks in.

"Kev? What's happened?" John immediately panicks.

"Nothing. Cassies asleep." Scott mutters. "Whats going on?" John asks. "Scott heard cassie talking to someone" Kevin states. "She does that, she has imaginary friend-" "it's Leon. She described Leon. We showed her a picture and she said yeah, that's my friend." Kevin cuts in. John's eyes widen. "What does she know about Leon?" Scott asks. "Nothing. Just that he existed and that he went away...we..we never talked about him much." John admits. Kevin looks at Scott.

"Hows the new job going?" Scott asks. John adjusts his hoodie. "Fine. Just a boring old security job" John shrugs. Kevin grabs his arm. John yelps and tries to pull back. "Why are you working at that hell hole?" Kevin snaps. "Why do you care?" John hisses. "Hes hurt Kevin." Scott mutters standing up. "Im fine." Kevin forces his sleeve up. "Ill grab the first aid kit." Scott sighs. "You should stay far away from that place." Kevin warns him. "You know the truth don't you?" John asks. "What truth?" "One of the officer, he thinks Leon's disappearance is linked to the missing kids from the restaurant" John states.

Kevin loosens his grip. "The only person who saw what happened that day, is you John." Kevin reminds him. John frowns. "I know that. You don't think I don't?" John grits his teeth. "If only I could remember..papa m..." John's eyes begin to water. "It ain't your fault kid. That sick bastard did this, he took them from you. And could he be the same guy that took those kids? Yeah, wouldn't surprise me." Kevin tells him. John looks down. "But if you've taken the job there just to feed the obsession you have about finding Leon's kidnapper, you need to quit. Its not healthy for you. Cassie doesn't need you ending up like your parents." Kevin warns him.

"Ill be careful." He whispers as Scott returns. "How'd this happen?" Scott asks. "I..I don't know." John sighs as he's forced to sit. "Cassie needs you John. Please, please be safe." Kevin pleads. "I will" John promises.

------------------------------------------------------------------

The fourth night.

John searches for his jacket. "Im going to be late." He groans. He opens his bedroom door and is immediately greeted by cassie wearing his jacket. "I need that." John states. "I have to come with you. Scott had to cancel. He said he told you." Cassie states. John straightens. Oh fuck.

Scott did tell him.

And John forgot to hire a babysitter.

"Shit!" He curses.

"Shit!"

"No! Bad word!" John barks as he rushes to the phone.

------------------------------------------------------------------

John sits at his desk with a frown.

He shouldn't have brought her here. He sways in his office chair, glancing back at his sleeping sister. They built her a little tent at the back of the office. He turns back to the cameras to see bonnie and chica gone. "Fuckkk" he groans letting his head fall back.

"Im cassie."

John freezes. Did he just hear cassie?

"I had a brother named Leon."

John turns around quickly and his eyes widen in fear. Cassie is stood looking at a big golden Fred bear that's sat in the corner of the office. "Cassie?" John asks as the lights start flickering. "John...Leon here says there's a dangerous man coming and we need to leave." She states. John stands and moves to his sister. "What? What are you on about?" John asks. "Leon, he says we are not safe here." Cassie frowns. "Thats a old freddy suit, that shouldn't even be in here" John sighs. "You're not listening to me" cassie snaps. "Cassidy it's a suit. Enough." He snaps back. "No!" She yells running out. "Cassie!" He barks running after her.

He pauses as he sees her stood infront of the animatronics. "Cassie step away from them" he orders. "No." She snaps. "They are dangero-" "no! Thats Finn" she points at bonnie. "Thats sheamus" foxy. "Alexa" chica. "Cody" freddy. "And thats drew." John stares confused. "Drew?" She points behind him. John turns to see some puppet figure behind him. His eyes widen.

Wait.

"The missing children." He whispers as the puppets head tilts. He glances back at the office. "Oh god this has to be a bad dream." He whispers turning back to cassie. "Cassie" "They are friends. Friends of Leon's." Cassie states. "Friends of mine." Cassie adds. "Fuck" John groans. "Cmon! Let's clean this place up" she smiles taking John's hand.

What a long fucked up night.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Night five.

John stares at the monitors. But that's when he spots it. The moving. All the robots are in their place, so who the fuck is this?

John grabs his flashlight and begins moving towards the main room. Nothing.

"What the fu-ow" he groans as something hits his back. He turns and feels himself pale as fear takes over. A ball sits at his feet. "Whos there!" He yells turning his flashlight on and aiming it at the hall he'd just come from. His eyes widen. "What the fuck!" He barks before taking off down the other hall.

"Get him."

------

Cassie glances up to her bedroom window at the tapping. She smiles as the golden fur shines in the light. "Leon!" She smiles opening the window. "Cmon. Johnny needs help" the voice creaks. Cassie nods and accepts the big bear paw.

----

John groans as he hits the wall and floor. "You know, it's a real shame to see another Michaels die. But...you couldn't let it be" the voice barks. John stares at the golden rabbit. The voice isn't coming from it. No. It's coming from behind it. John's eyes widen as the rabbit pulls the helmet off to reveal his uncle. "Kane" John gasps. "I enjoyed killing Lil Leon. He put up such a fight, it was a shame he had to have such a violent death compared to the rest." To confirm, kanes mouth doesn't move. "And well the rest fell into place. Your pa couldn't handle the death of Leon and fell into his own fate. And your father? He stood no chance." The voice continues. "All you had to do was stay away" the voice sighs as the other robots join kane.

"A real shame."

"John!" "What the-" the voice gets cut off with a groan. Kanes head snaps back. "Cassie?" John whispers seeing the girl stood with a boy slightly taller. "Kill them! Both of them!" The voice yells as the robots. Kane goes to move when freddy stops him. "Kill, them." A new voice speaks. As John sits up and clears his eyes, the boy turns into a golden bear.

"Cassie!" He yells finally getting his bearings. He pushes from the wall, ducking away from kanes grasp and towards the girl. He grabs her picking her up, not caring at the screams of pain coming from behind him. His eyes catch the puppet as he runs out of the building.

"What about Leon!" She cries. "We have to go!" He yells getting to his car.

Cassie stares at the building from the back seat as Leon stands in the doorway, smiling at his baby sister, waving. Cassie smiles softly and waves back.

Leon turns towards the others as they walk back in. "Their both locked away." Sheamus states. "Your brother. He's been looking for the truth for awhile now." Drew confesses as he walks over. Leon glances at the others and then the suits they hide in. "They'll end up like us. They'll suffer the same fate." Alexa states glancing towards the kitchen. "They'll be able to hurt us." Cody whispers. "No." Leon's gruff voice speaks up. "John, cassie. They'll be back. John won't stop until he knows the truth." Leon mutters looking outside to see randy walking towards the door.

He stands infront of the glass doors as randy chains and padlocks it.

"Randy will make sure of it" Leon mutters.

Randy glances at the boy and nods before walking back to his car.

"We will be free."

....

...

"Its me. Come find me."

[fangirlstorycreator]

Terry CK X Reader

Context: Terry gives you a much needed and very sweet suprise 💚

You and Terry were enjoying being new parents. About a month and a half ago, you had given birth to your first baby, you and Terry had become a family with a tiny little, and very precious daughter. Her hair was black when she was born, and the first thing she did when she was handed to me was grab hold of Terry's finger as tightly as she could when he rested his hand on her. It made him cry, you had only seen Terry cry once before, at your wedding when you walked down the isle. You both were now a real family, and it was wonderful. However, being new parents isnt always a walk in the park, there were the late night, early mornings, crying, nappy changes etc. But through out all of this, Terry enjoyed every moment, it could be 3 in the morning when he had to go to work in a couple of hours, and he would do nothing but smile when he picked up our little girl when she would cry.

He would change her, feed her, wind her and anything else she needed at the time, and all he would do is look upon his beautiful baby with a smile. After feeling so alone for so many years, he finaly had what he's always wanted, and being a dad was everything to him. He would want to do everything that made his daughter smile, because then he would know that he's finaly doing things right. You were the same when it came to your baby, however, it wasnt always easy. You struggled a lot more than Terry, but that's because she wanted to be attached to you just as much as she wanted to be around Terry, but sometimes it was too much. There would be days you wish you could sit in the house with noone else, just silence and a nice glass of wine, but once you become a mum, you can kiss that kind of luxury goodbye for the next few years.

One evening, your just finishing feeding your daughter. As you were still breast feeding, she had to be with you when ever she was hungry. When you put her over your shoulder to burp her, Terry walks in and sits next to you on the sofa. "Hey there sweetheart" he says before planing a sweet kiss upon your lips. "Hey Terry" "Hows our little princess doing?" he asks as he strokes at his daughters wavy black hair. "Yeh she's ok, I've just fed her, so it will be time to put her to sleep soon" "Well, dont worry about putting her to sleep tonight sweetheart, because I'm going to" Confusion sets into your mind when he says that. "I dont understand? Why do you want to put her to bed? This time is normally the only time you get to respond to emails on your office computer?"

He stands up and holds his hand out to you "Take my hand sweetheart, I have something to show you" smiling warmly up at him, you take his hand and he guides you and your baby in your arm upstairs and towards to bathroom. When you walk inside with Terry, its then that you see the main light is turned off, and the only light in there is coming from vanilla scented candles that are placed around the bath. Along with red rose pettles that have been scattered in and amongst the bath water, that by the smell of it has coconut scented oils.

"Oh Terry, this is gorgeous. Why did you do this?" "Why wouldn't I? You've been working so hard with our little princess lately sweetheart, and you deserve some time to yourself, some time to relax" The warmth of the bathroom, the smells filling the air and the true kindness of Terry's actions make you feel so loved inside. "Oh Terry, how can I thank you?" He just smiles before taking the baby carefully off of your shoulder and cradling her in his large, strong arm, resting the palm of his other hand against her little head. "You have thanked me already, more than you realise. You loved me for who I am, and made this house a home when you moved in. When you became my wife, it was the most amazing day of my life, but not as amazing as when you gave me her. Shes so perfect, so beautiful, just like you. You brought our daughter into the world and made me a father, and I will spend the rest of my life thanking you for that. And one of the ways I do that, is by doing little things for you. Like this bath, plus, I get to spend more time with my little princess as I put her to bed"

You cant help the waves of love flowing through you, you pull his face in and kiss him with a caring tenderness. "Enjoy sweetheart, I'll see you when your all finished, take your time. I love you" "I love you too Terry" He walks out of the bathroom holding your baby girl, and you turn back to face the bath. "Oh this is soooooo needed" Once you get undressed, you immerse yourself in the hot and sweet smelling water, it is absolutely gorgeous. You spend about an hour and a half in the bath, reading your book and just taking some quality time for yourself. When the water started to get cold, you decided to get out, still smelling of the coconut oil as you get dressed into your pyjamas. When you were in your bedroom putting on your moisturiser, you noticed Terry hadn't come to bed yet.

Where was he? Was he struggling to get the baby to sleep? You walked over to her bedroom, and that's where you see one of the sweetest sights you had even witnessed. Terry was fast asleep on the comfy corner chair in her bedroom, with the baby sound asleep in his arms. You couldn't help yourself, you pulled out your phone and took a picture of them both, how could you not? Once you took the picture, you picked up your baby girl and put her in her cot, then gently stroked Terry's face to wake him up. "Terry? Babe? Come on, its time to get some sleep" his eyes are still closed when he nods at you, wiping at his eyes, he stands up and you take his hand, leading him out of the room. He was already in his pyjamas thankfully, but when he got into your bedroom, he took his shirt off, he never liked sleeping with a shirt on, it was more comfortable for him this way. You snuggled down into bed with Terry following closely behind.

"Are you ok babe?" "Yeh I'm alright, just tired that's all. Our little princess made me read her 4 stories before she started getting sleepy, but it was all worth it. How was your bath?" "Perfect thank you Terry, just what I needed. Speaking of needing things, come hear and lie your head on my chest, you need to get your sleep" through his tired eyes, he still looks at you with a loving gaze before he snuggles in close and wraps his arm around you, lying his head on your chest. You put your arms around him, running your fingers through his bouncy curly silver curls, gently running your nails over his scalp and giving his a kiss on his forehead. Before you know it, you can hear sweet little quite snors coming from Terry, he's always so peaceful when he's asleep. Turning off the bedside lamp and holding him close, you whisper "Goodnight babe" before slowly, drifting off to sleep yourself.

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

Hello, Kat! Hope you're having a good evening! Or morning wherever you are 😆 I would like to request 12, 16, 18, 24, 29, 37, 40, and 51!

hi cas!!! it's okay, today was weird because i woke up grumpy but i think it's finally starting to normalize lmao. i'm still over here trying to force myself to write and getting increasingly anxious about not being able to jdkfjdkf

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

i dont think i ever reached the 48 hour mark, but i've come close!! these haven't happened since like very early college/high school though lol

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment?

mmm, a little frustrated because i still can't seem to sit down to write. i'm still messing with this ai. or wanting to make a moodboard. or wanting to gif. ANYTHING EXCEPT WRITE and i can feel myself getting anxious because all anyone ever interacts with on this hellsite is my smut 😭

18. are you scared of spiders?

nah. while i'm not overly excited to see them, i leave them alone if i see them because they help get rid of the fruit flies or stray mosquitos. however they usually end up dead because my cats are little monsters and eventually eat them

24. what is/are/were your best subjects?

early high school? math for sure. i was the stereotypical asian kid late high school/early college? anything writing/literature related (definitely not related to exposure to fandoms and creative writing in general as a hobby jdkjfsk) late college/grad school? now i do well at the clinical-related classes but that's mostly because i'm interested in it and put in more effort and i kinda blow off the other classes dksfjksd

29. have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

i made my husband cry once i think, but it was more like I "let" him cry iykwim? he had a fight with his parents and i told him it was ok to be upset and then it just kinda went from there lol

37. is it easier to forgive or forget?

probably forget? i'm not good at doing that either. ik its not healthy but i do think i have a bad habit of holding onto grudges as like fuel to keep me going. this is why therapy exists jdkfjdk

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked?

id rather die

51. favorite food?

this will change in a few weeks but as of now i'm really craving chicken noodle soup 😭

send me some asks!

[merlucide]

crying that is so sweet 😭 shhdjsjsja I love you girl every time we talk is always such a joy ugh ily tysm<333 (ALSO HELLO?!? don’t be telling the world what we do in the bedroom, heh, heh /j)

oh man where do I start💀

@someprettyname words cannot express my gratitude and love to you my wifey. You are so funny and so fun to converse with like you get it!! One of my favorite memories with you is one morning I woke up early and couldn’t sleep, so we talked about bit about I think Hindu Goddess? It was so fun and we just talked till the sunrise came up :) Your so funny and every time i catch myself saying something like ‘____________, no?’ I think of you lol. I love our culture talks as well, I always get to tell my mom about the current festivals that’s happening over there heh. You are so kind and understanding, and a great friend and I love you terribly <3

@sharkissm a yes, sharkie :) My first friend on here!! I’ve said it countless times before and I’ll say it again, your energy is so refreshing. Your whole vibe just makes me happy, you’re unapologetically you and I truly admire that about you. You have such a beautiful heart and it’s one of your best qualities<3 I remember when you were just shark anon, it was so fun <3 and you were SO surprised I found out who you were— even though you were the only person that liked my posts heh. I love you dearly my friend <3

@kuro-min Michelle ma belle <33 I miss our long conversations!! It was truly one of my favorite things <3 I love how we can just ‘click!’. You have such a beautiful caring heart and I just want to combust when I talk with you. Really it’s like a burst of serotonin. I remember you sliding into my DMS and asking about our favorite Sanrio characters, now ever since then I’ll see Kuromi and go ‘Oh yeah, Chelle likes her!’. One of my first wives as well 🥹 I think you were my 2nd tbh? Anywho best day of my life 🥹 I miss our freaky sessions /lh *sighs in remembrance* I love how you just get it, like I don’t need to explain you just get it yk? You are very easy to talk to, like never once has there been a moment where I want to take a break with speaking with ya. I love and miss ya dearly <3 I hope time is on our side more often!!

@jujutsustraycats ISHY-ISHHHHHHH!!! I would fuck up my sleep schedule for you time and time again my friend 🥹 My first husband, *tears falls down* I love talking with you— YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. Like YOU GET IT?!? Like pls why don’t you live here we need to talk irl and write songs and poems and have karaoke night!! You are so funny istg and just so fun to listen and speak with, always feel smart talking to ya! Also in my mind you trademarked the word ‘fuck’— I CANNOT SAY/READ IT WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT YOU😭 HEAVAN knows id move time and space to meet you irl and giggle about Karasu :) I love you sm and miss talking /VCing!!! I’m so glad we’ve been able to do it recently!

@luvingshidou MY IZZY GIRL <33 I miss you soooo much ugh we need to have a freak off again 😔 I know we haven’t spoken much recently but I think about cha a lot <3 You are so funny and sweet, really is so fun speaking with you. I miss you sm and love you sm <3 I’m so proud of you for getting on top of school and everything bc girl I could never 😭 that’s an amazing skill I’m jelly

@biggestcharleskinnie RAAAAA MY CHARLES TO MY SHIDOU!!!! THE PEACH TO MY PLUM!! The freaks match I fear. You’re so fun to interact with and the peaches arc is so fun istg— traumatic— but fun! Your so cutesy and sweet and a great friend<3 Love ya!!!

@thebestsetter ALICIA MY LOVELY <33 sigh I wish we could chat more often *sob* You are SO SWEET. I literally love interacting with you like bae you don’t even know. You are so talented and I admire you truly <3 We should talk more often!!! :) I love you sm girlieeeee <3

Oh man the list is so long 😭 I’m sorry I can’t include everyone rn (I’m exhausted and need to sleep lmao) but I love all of you dearly !! Like fr all of my friends on here are so special to me <33 I love you guys

[forest-meadow]

I’ve got time to kill so more on ShinBakuMon rq

After Aiko’s quirk manifests, they take her training at the gym at Bakugou’s agency every weekend to help her gain control of her quirk. While she’s in my class, she does her best to contain it, but doesn’t always succeed, which is fine cuz I’m quick with my shields and keep a particular eye on her during this time.

“You know, you could work on your quirk with us on the weekends, too,” Shinso offers one Friday when picking up Aiko.

I consider it a moment, “That might not be a bad idea. Who knows when I’ll need it to be stronger for an emergency?”

“My thoughts exactly. We get to the agency gym around 7 most Saturday mornings. Should I let security know you’ll be coming?”

I nod with a smile, “It’s a date!” And immediately turn red in the face, “Like an appointment. A date like an appointment. I can’t date my current students guardians.”

Shinso raises an eyebrow, “But after they’re no longer your students?”

My blush deepens at the insinuation he makes, “After they’re graduate from my class, I’m free to date their parents or guardians. But I thought you and Mr Bakugou were-“

He shrugs, “It’s something we’ve both brought up.”

I balk, “Both??”

He nods, “Yeah. We both appreciate the way you are with Aiko.”

I let out a breath through my nose, “Well of course. She needs care and guidance through this time, not a drill sergeant.”

He nods, “Exactly. And we both feel you’ve provided that for her.”

“Toshi!” Aiko exclaims from across the playground, finally noticing her guardian.

“Hey, angel!” He crouches down to be at her level as she pelts towards him and nearly knocks the two of them over with the force of her hug, “How was school?”

“It was so much fun! I blew up my homework!”

He chuckles, and looks up at me, but I shrug.

“She still has a copy. I’ve been making extras to be safe,” I say.

He nods, “Thank you,” and gets to his feet, “We’ll see you tomorrow then?”

I nod in return, “I’ll see you tomorrow bright and early.”

Aiko perks up at that, “We’re going to see Mx Monet tomorrow?”

Shinso picks her up and collects her things, “Yes ma’am. She’s going to come train with us.”

“Yay!”

Training goes well the first day. Shinso and a man they call “Sensei” who introduced himself as Mr Aizawa had Aiko go through some exercises to help her figure out what triggers her quirk while Bakugou and I faced off against eachother.

“I’ll start easy on you since I don’t know how strong you are,” he gruffs before we start, “But this is the only time, got it?”

I give a mock salute, “Yes, sir,” to which he smirks.

And he does. He starts with sparks that are stronger than Aiko’s and works his way up to full explosions. But from what I’ve seen on tv and YouTube videos, I know they’re still rather weak for him.

I’m sweating after ten minutes, and he calls for a water break.

“How you holding up?” He asks.

“Not too bad! I expected it to be harder earlier in the game,” I say, and take a drink of water, “I just sweat a lot, unfortunately.”

He nods and seems to think on that, “Wanna level it up?”

I nod.

Everything goes well with training the first few sessions I go. I can feel myself getting stronger with every explosion I shield myself against or try to contain. All three of the men who have been guiding both me and Aiko comment on it.

“Why didn’t you go to hero school?” Aizawa asks one day, “We could really use a hero like you.”

I shrug, “Not really my thing. But I got a special license from the hero commission stating I’m allowed to use my quirk in emergency situations because it’s so useful,” and take a drink of water, “I never really liked violence, even if it’s to protect people. I’m very much a pacifist.”

“Yet here you are,” he says.

I frown to myself, “Here I am.”

There’s a loud explosion to the side of us and a cry of “Aiko, look out!”

I whip around to face her and find her in the path of large pieces of cement falling in her direction.

“AIKO DONT MOVE!!” I shout as loud as I can, throwing out my hand in her direction.

She freezes and the last thing I see is her looking at me with a scared but trusting expression before cement covers her up.

“AIKO!!” Bakugou roars and blasts his way over to where she was last seen before the cement chunks covered her up.

He blasts the giant pieces into smaller ones with small precise explosions as he frantically digs after his daughter. Shinso and Aizawa run towards him to help. I stay put and put all of my concentration on the shield I put around her at the last second. The cement was heavy and it was getting more and more difficult to keep up and off her small frame. Sweat dripped down my face.

“Aiko, baby can you hear me?” Bakugou shouts.

I distantly hear her little voice shout a reply.

“Hurry! I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up for,” I call out. My knees are getting weak.

I squeeze my eyes shut to concentrate even more on the one singular shield keeping the child away from death.

“We’ve got her!” Shinso finally cries, “Monet, we’ve got her you can drop the shield now!”

I drop it and fall to my knees, panting and drenched in sweat. I look up and see Bakugou on the ground with his daughter clutched to his chest. Shinso is sitting beside them, a hand on his partner’s arm. Aizawa is walking towards me with a fresh bottle of water.

“Good work, kid,” is all he says, “You did it. You saved her.”

I nod and guzzle half the bottle in one go.

“Is she okay?” I ask.

He nods, “She’s perfectly fine. Though, I have a feeling Bakugou will want you both checked out by the med team. I’ve already called them here.”

The med team gets to the gym quickly and does triage on both me and Aiko. They determine that Aiko might be in shock for a little while, but otherwise she’s a perfectly healthy little girl. Me on the other hand? Well, I need some electrolytes from how much I sweat during the whole ordeal, but I’ll be fine too.

Bakugou leaves Aiko with Shinso and approaches me as the med team takes off the blood pressure cuff from my arm.

“Thank you,” he says.

I shrug and drink some of the electrolytes the med team gave me, “No problem. I just did what anyone else would have done.”

He shook his head and pulled me to my feet, “You saved my little girls life. I don’t take that lightly.”

I open my mouth to just wave it off again, when he surges towards me and cuts me off with a searing kiss. I squeak, but let my eyes fall closed and I even lean into it.

When he breaks the kiss, he keeps his forehead on mine, “Come to dinner with us.”

I shake my head, “I can’t date my students guardians.”

“The last day of school is next week. Come to dinner with us then,” he compromises.

I nod, “Okay. Okay, yeah. We just can’t finalize details until school’s out for the summer.”

He gives me a feral grin and kisses my cheek, “Thank you,” and goes back to Shinso and Aiko.

Aizawa appears out of nowhere beside me, “You’ll be good for them. They could use someone like you.”

“Like me?” I ask, confused.

“Mhm. You’ve got soft edges where theirs have been hardened by years of hero work. They could use that. All three of them.”

[pwblogarchive]

November 2005

November 1, 2005

halloween in orange county was amazing. we had some tricks up our sleeve, so did you. thank you for making it into a fun night for us. if you’re serious too much it means you believe your own hype. if you joke too much it means you don’t take anything seriously. if you’re too quiet it means that you are arrogant. if you talk too much it means you crave attention. if you aren’t smiling it means you’re not happy.

sarcasm doesn’t read well over the internet. but trust me, if you don’t get it. then we’re/they’re probably making fun of you.

new things are coming to light. i am happy. if you are coming to the sacremento show you may have heard that motion city has had to cancel. but we have found a band to take their place for that show. come early because they play first- one of our favorite new bands.

dont give up on us just yet. its about to get good. i swear.

young hearts be free tonight.

November 11, 2005

"A beautiful girl can make you feel dizzy, like you've been drinking jack and coke all morning...." Nothing has felt truer. My mind is swirling. Even with the tour coming to an end. The black around your eyes running and not in a crying way more like sunset hitting a school blacktop. I can't wait to go home at the same time I can't wait to come back to every city. I love seeing old friends, still up front. Trying to remember every night is like trying to catch my breath. And the years took their toll but we're still right there. We're bullets in the chamber waiting for the powder and the hammer to kiss. I love the way fall feels in my nose. Oranges and yellows burning leaves and us always trying to make our way upstream. The world has a funny way of playing tricks on us. One day I've got it all figured out and the next it's a mess. Last year we were in the same town but it's all different now, but still the same. we're the local boys from everywhere. It's all about "the catch" versus "the one that got away". We're all trying to write them back into our lives and the hearts that we decorate and send cards out about on the holidays. We're just writing nets and barbs. Something to hold you until we've circled around to make sure no one is watching. It's been awhile but I think your baby boy has still got it. These words are poor substitute for my moods and emotions. I spend nights awake on single words, agonizing cos I don't want to let you down. And I feel like I have anyway. That's why I go away at times. Be alone together. Let's be stolen not borrowed. Forgiven not forgotten. Baby, the best ones are crazy. So cut it loose.

Listen to purevolume.com/thehushsound - the hush sound - so sudden...

11/11/05 Q&A

question

just to but in, patrick seems shy off stage like in an interview or if us fans talk to him and hes not shy on stage or if hes w the band

answer

patrick is shy or maybe quiet in general- notice how he doesnt talk on stage alot? thats not cos he thinks i am really cool. its because he is just a softspoken guy. its both on stage and off. not to butt in but hes my best buddy and i hoep you love him the way he is.

question

i try to come up with all these cool questions for you to answer but you dont answer any. peter, i think that you should have 2 Q&A boards so that patrick can answer some questions and you could answer some questions. because i dont think you like me. i like you.

answer

patrick doesnt like the internet. but he likes me.

question

What is ruckus juice?

answer

its what i gave old boy at the party so he’d get nekid.

question

Hey, You just edited that last question. They asked about if it freaked you out..blah blah blah, and then you put something like if anyone takes picture of me. And now its if anyone takes notice of anyhintg i do.and the time changed. So are you on here right now answering question looking at the message boards? *Destiny*

answer

i didnt edit anything. i was on the bus without internet service. if it was editted it was not by me.

11/12/05

question

pete, please take the time to read this. im not one for drama or causing it, im not into bashing bands or anything of that sort. i want you to read this and take everything i say into consideration. a few nights ago i went to your show in salt lake. it was a great night, i had my friends with me and i got the chance to see you guys perform. it was truly an exciting experience. i know that when bands are on the road, the only place that feels like home for them is their bus. so after performing it would be natural to get in the bus and rest, or sleep, or simply just chill out. when it all comes down to it, i know you guys are just as human as anyone else. you have just been put in a different situation where people find it exciting to meet with you. i personally would have just liked to meet you because as a songwriter, i think you have a way with words thats different from a lot of other songwriters. that means something to me.

my friend and i and a couple of other people waited for you guys outside where all the buses and trailers were. the four of us, and only us waited for more than two hours. we were there so long that security had left and the buses and trailers were getting ready to leave. andy was in a small building next to the venue eating and talking with your manager and roadies, etc. eventually, a girl that was with us poked her head in the room and got up the nerve to ask andy if he would come outside really quickly and just sign some things for the four of us, keep in mind it was just four kids, no one else was in sight except for roadies packing equipment. he came out and was really nice, shook our hands, signed a few papers and that was it, less than 30 seconds of his time. he told us it was fine and that he did not mind coming outside for a few seconds. throughout these few hours that we were waiting in the freezing cold to see you guys we asked roadies, some merch people, anyone basically, if they knew where you guys, patrick, joe, and pete were, and every single one of them either avoided us or just told us to leave and that you guys were not going to show up. some also said that buses feel like home and sometimes after a show you just want to go, in a sense, home. i understand that, but it wasnt like there were more than a hundred people waiting, or even fifty, just four. i also understand that as regular human beings, you guys have days when you feel down and days when things are going just right. pete, i love your words, and i enjoy the music that fall out boy makes. i still feel that way, but i have lost respect for you as people. it would have taken less than two minutes to meet with us and sign some things. we would have even been fine with you guys waving from your bus. my point is that you, patrick, and joe did nothing. ask andy if he was bothered by us, that it took more than a minute of his time, that he actually minded to meet with us, he will say no. please dont reply to me and tell me none of this was of your knowledge, we were there for a very long time, im confident someone would have said something to you or patrick or joe. when it all comes down to it, you guys are just four friends from chicago that got lucky and are now experiencing success you never dreamed of, success you yourself has said you never expected. you are where you are now because of your fans. you have a bus to sleep in with luxury items you know you dont really need because of your fans. you have a major label deal because of the support from your fans. you have money in your bank account because of every single kid that saw you play and took an interest in you. it is less likely that you will ever have to work a nine to five office job because of your fans. you have a music career solely because of your fans. your fans mean the world to you, but last night taught me a lesson and should open your eyes as well. you would be nothing if it were not for your fans, yes, even four kids from salt lake city and from around the world in general. i have learned not to trust someone even in your guys position. remember what i have said, let it resound in your head when there are fans outside some venue and you just wanna be left alone and go straight to your bus, your fans have paved the way for fall out boys success. i enjoy your music, but last night you lost my respect. it would be incredibly easy to just write me off, to write this message off, but you and i both know these words will be and are true whether you acknowledge them or not. thank you for your time. and no, i didnt mind taking time out of my day to write this. sincerely, marcos alvin words are to hide from, words are to hide behind

answer

i am sorry you missed the chance to see us. but i had the chance to meet many fans before the salt lake show in line. honestly i left nearly immediatly after the show to take my friends wife to the airport. i am sorry for the situation but hopefully next time we will have a better experience. i cant speak for joe or patrick but it is possible that they had valid reasons for not meeting people. also, at many of these venues we aren;t sure where people will be waiting. or security doesnt let us go outside of our buses do to curfew. over the period of three days when we were in salt lake i met over 50 kids probably and definitely appreciated meeting each one. anyway, accept my apology and hopefully you won’t let one interaction change your perception of our band, like it was said, we are only human as well- even if we are on a stage. take care.

11/13/05

question

hey! i was just wondering, how good are you friends with mikey way??

answer

me and mikey are not in just one gang together, we are in two: the sweet little dudes and the fraternal order of the handsome boy. i call him the duke of handsomeness.

question

Pete, If you were on a deserted island and had to choose between an Ipod full of your favorite songs or Patrick, what would you pick?

answer

trick question. patrick is an ipod full of my favorite songs.

question

Pete, Why dont you sing? Im not saying Patrick cant sing, cause hes like the best. But I know you write a lot of the music but you dont really sing.. you just scream… which is cool too…and fun

answer

cos patrick is a better singer than me, and pretty much everyone on the planet. i am content to sit here and get a tan and bask in the heat of his awesomeness.

question

My friends say i am conceeded cause i wear this shirt that is bright yellow with blue lettering. it says quarter on the front… the on the back it says “no woman can top me, yet all the dimes try, its gotta be a crime, to be this damn fly. I am i conceeded for wearing this shirt? XO ANGEL

answer

i think that shirt is insane. i dont really understand it. its awesome that you wear a shirt that says “damn fly” on it. it reminds me of the fresh prince when he was just a rapper not some shitty kids movie actor.

question

I am so flipping mad at you. Those Marauder hoodies were, frankly, my favorite piece of clothing on the Clan line. And now its gone. At least you could have said it was limited. That way I could have bought it earlier. The new hoodies are ugly. Sorry, but they are. Maybe next time, you can give us some warning.

answer

i am sorry you missed out the chance to get the hoody. it was listed as limited on many areas where it was advertised. hopefully we’ll make some more “non- ugly” hoodies in the future.

question

are those secret shows for OCK people? or is that confidential?

answer

he secret shows are for whoever can figure them out.

question

you know how people always send you really long things about how they have lost respect in you, and they think that you have become just more famous people.dont worry there are still the fans out there that love you with a passion and have some understanding.

answer

we always appreciate hearing that. though all opinions are welcome and heard.

question

hey petah… why do you where a hoodie onstage when your just going to take it off anyway??? i was pondering that while i was making cupcakes.

answer

why are you making cupcakes when you’re just gonna poop them out?

question

since forever ago, my friends & i have been thinking of having guy cosmetics… guyliner & the like. i noticed you said something about guyliner in an earlier answer… would you sponsor?

answer

i think i am just gonna make some guyliner.

question

what is release the bats about? i never heard of the movie

answer

its a movie me and my friends made. you can get it at the fueledbyramen webstore. www.fueledbyramen.com  

November 16, 2005 

winter is here again. it gets dark before i even wrap my head around the day. went home and saw my mom, the hushsound, and kanye west. my mom was definitely the coolest. but hush sound is amazing and butch walker is really nice (not in the "im nice cause you're in fall out boy" just a genuinely nice guy, which is refreshing). tour is winding down. its kind of a bumout. but another one will start soon. ive been hearing about you sneaking around my house trying to see who's going in and out- don't waste your time thinking about what i'm doing cause im not wasting my time thinking about you. you'll remember where you were at the exact moment that i stopped thinking of you forever.

don't believe the hype. girls with brains are sexy.

11/16/05

question

Pete, if the secret shows get announced on trl theyre not really secret anymore are they?why?why did you tell them?

answer

they didnt announce when or where they’d be.

question

I was at the cleveland nintendo fusion and i was wondering who the fat guy who came out screaming “mother f***ing FOB” was.

answer

thats dirty. you can meet on the release the bats dvd- you can get that over at www.fueledbyramen.com he says “im not fat, my mom says im big boned”

question

what is a sell out to you? b/c some of my friends say that you guys sold out. i dont believe it but they just tell me to shut up. its getting annoying. i just wanted your input on it

answer

when you compromise your ideals for monetary gains, when you do something you would not otherwise do simply because it is lucrative. we do not do that. you never get a chance to hear about the things and ideas that we turn down.

question

Patrick is jus the loveable kinda guy, isnt he?

answer

yes

question

If you personally wrote a book about the band, what did it be called?

answer

fall out boy: how no one ever understood this band except the four people in it

question

I know that pete likes to get yellow flowers… but what do the other members of FOB like to get?

answer

patrick: vinyl, records - motown stuff joe: star wars stuff andy: comic books, vegan treats

question

my mom thinks your an attractive male…and the most attractive in fall out boy. What do you have to say for yourself?

answer

im never happy with the person in the mirror.

question

how come patrick looks so gay in some pics on mtv.com? but he normally looks Hot???

answer

news flash gay is not a synonym for ugly. i know this may come as a shock.

November 17, 2005 

Swoon.

The only band that ever really mattered to me is back together.

I heart lifetime.

And the new harry potter movie is coming out.

November 18, 2005 

fall out boy friend appreciation day:

andy: ive known andy the longest of anyone in fall out boy. i can set my clock by this kid. he comes off as the quietest member but when he's around people he knows he is the loudest- many nights i have been woken up by him screaming in the front lounge. he is one of the few kids i know who is still vegan sxe- he lives and dies by his beliefs. he also looks like animal when he plays drums. id trust any secret ive ever had with him forever. ladies watch out when hes around. hehe.

joe: joe is actually the kid who started fob. it was his brilliant idea to get all of us maniacs together and he introduced me and patrick. he tends to be the glue that holds it all together. he is also pretty much the most interesting part of a fall out boy live show. i, with everyone in the crowd often find myself watching this kid spin around and kick holes in walls. ive also been in way too many sketchy situations with this kid, where we can only look at eachother and laugh. including the time we got in a huge fight at a party at his apartment which resulted in some asshole getting a bottle broken over his head. i plead the fifth on anymore knowledge. but i know i could come to joe with any problem ive ever had.

patrick: probably my best friend in the whole world. we can finish eachothers sentences. its strange cause ive never had a relationship like the one we have with a friend, ever. people try to make a big deal of him and my interactions and relationship. but honestly at the end of the day when the spotlights and flashes go away this kid is still gonna be here, and we'll still be friends. i could give a fuck what you say, this is one of the only people in the world that i would take a bullet for. and he has more talent in his little finger than i have in my entire body.

that is all.

new harry potter movie is amazing.

back to the depressing "magic-less" world.

November 18, 2005 

The real me is the giant squid. It’s the planet just past Pluto. Its time travel. Its all these theoretical ideas that cant be proven. How I feel is “what killed the dinosaurs” and “how the pyramids were built”. Just guesses that maybe hit their marks and maybe are miles off. Im a Saturday soul on a Monday night. Everything I know about girls I learned from watching my sister talk on the phone, fuck Im sorry, blame her if I got it all wrong. Everything I know about sex I learned from watching dirty movies, fuck im sorry, blame traci lords cause I know I got it all wrong. The saddest songs sing themselves.makeup caked on my face, not for the show but because im tired of being me. It aint a pretty face, its just the hull of the ship. And were burning up in the atmosphere. We crashed hard at the learning curve. The poets come to life in hotel rooms and bathroom stalls.

Look in the mirror and repeat: “hes losing his touch”- "why is this so cryptic" “we don’t want to be the next fall out boy”- and pretend your alive, handsome. its all the difference between: feeling exposed and feeling overexposed. read between the lines- Treat yourself like a video cassette rewind endlessly to catch only the best parts, skip over the rest and eject. You aint anything new, youre just the latest in a long line of people who have been you and will be you. and you aren’t even the best at it. but you might have the biggest mouth. massage this ego, cause its feeling kind of sore. But youre a sprinter and this one is a long distance race. They say you cant run the whole way but fuck what they say. Fuck you for giving up. Take this to press. You’ve only got four stories to tell and theyre getting old. Dig up some new dirt. Ill air some more dirty laundry. Cause that’s all this is. a laundry room without any washing machines (nobodys coming clean). Just because we’re not responding doesn’t mean what you say is true- or that it doesn’t hurt. The fair-weather friends are keeping score in journals and in whispered voices. That’s okay. Im never gonna pretend to be more than I am- just a kid trying to figure myself out, and how dare I? The glue isn’t even dry on my pity party invitations and im already bored with feeling sorry for myself. Pause. Keep clawing my way out of this, mr. Mess I have become. Its okay in the end for everybody no matter how this turns out. the simplest words seem to be the truest. Humming them out of key and in a voice so hoarse it hurts. Single light in the bunk glowing late night messages. My mom said Ive got to start smiling in mirrors or else im gonna always feel weird about the person looking back. Put the buzzing phone to my headached head. “I’ll be home soon”…you know its a lie but it makes us both feel ok. I know this probably doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but it just feels better to get it out to you. 

Scientists in japan just photographed the first live giant squid on record. Ive never seen anything so terrifying or beautiful. Goodnight, pretty.

- petey

November 20, 2005 

1:36 pm 

sometimes its like never started sometimes it like its never gonna end

November 22, 2005 

12:59 am 

sometimes my own words dont suffice. "i hope that our few remaining friends give up on trying to save us i hope we come up witha fail-safe plot to piss off the dumb few that forgave us i hope the fences we mended fall down beneath their own weight and i hope we hang on past the last exit, i hope its already too late and i hope that the junkyard a few blocks from here someday burns down and i hope the rising black smoke carries me far away and i never come back to this town again. in my life i hope i lie and tell everyone you were a good wife and i hope you die. i hope we both die" 

November 23, 2005

I realize I have been a bit out of touch lately. I’m sorry. I’ve kinda been letting things get to me way too much. A black cloud I’ve always been counting on to be there. I’m sorry I’ve seemed kind of distant at signing and stuff. I’m sorry. I feel way better. I promise you good things in jersey. The providence show was amazing. I got an owl perched on some books tattoed on me. Just cause I’m a book nerd. He’s looks smart and dapper. I love bill haverchuck and you. You know the guy who plays the gym teacher in the dance, dance video? Well he’s our manager and we convinced him to get his old band the step kings back together to play new jersey. Its gonna be a riot.

I’m thankful that you all put up with me.

November 23, 2005

I wrote you a letter a few hours ago that I never intended to give you in the first place and then ripped it up and threw it away because it’s much too personal to say on paper. even over a phone. the words i said in it i need to say to you in person. i guess it felt better to write it all out. It's easier to say “I only need 5 seconds with you than a lifetime with someone else” than it is to live it. to be honest, i’m dying from it. “kiss me electric” vs “kiss me at all.” and when you do it’s just a kiss off. i’m really not ready for what you want from me, but with how you’re never around it makes me wonder what you really do want from me. honestly, it sure doesn’t feel like much. i said i’d be fine if you gave me a little note or a call once and a while, once a day even, just something to keep hanging onto, but you can’t even do that so yeah… i don’t know. Am I being ridiculous? it’s just hard for me to keep going like this… my heart is lots easier to fool than me. i think that’s what makes this so hard. 

November 30, 2005

you are my lobster.

- petey

[h3arts4harry]

- Biker Baby -

-

warnings: angst, fluff, motorbike crash, speeding, arguing, swearing, NO SMUT

Matt Sturniolo x biker! reader

-

orange- Chris

blue- Matt

purple- Nick

red- y/n

-

-8am-

I feel gentle shakes on shoulders, "y/n, wake up" I flutter open my eyes to Nick stood in front of me, "hm what time is it?" I croak "erm 8" I shot up "where's Matt?" I ask furrowing my eyebrows "he's uh in his room, probably asleep" my face softens with sadness, realising he didn't even notice me, I nod and make my way to Matt's room. I knock on the door and Matt shouts from the other side of the door "go away Nick it's too early", opening the door "not Nick" I say softly, his eyes furrow, "what are you doing here" in a slight pissed off tone. "I've been here all night waiting for you" "what? no you haven't, I didn't see you" "I fell asleep on the couch waiting for you to come home, what time did u even get back I thought you were only filming fridays video" "it doesn't matter-" he cuts himself off "why are you getting a fucking attitude with me?" "cause you dont even notice me anymore Matt, I waited for you and you didn't notice me" my waterline fills with tears, bottom lip trembling "I was tired and I didn't even know you were here, when I got home I went straight to bed" he shrugs "you didn't know I was here?" I mutter under my breath "are you fucking kidding me- I told you before you left that I would wait up for you" "well I forgot" he snaps "you know I am swamped with filming, meetings, and just everything I need to do for my job in general, do you actually expect me to remember-" "remember what?" I bite back "that you have a girlfriend? who is waiting up all night for you again for the 3rd time this week cause you keep promising that you'd watch a movie and cuddle with me, you never make time for me anymore" "y/n just fucking leave me alone its way too early for this" he faces away from me, laying back down "too early for this?" I scoff "are you fucking kidding me right now, I'm stood here hurt because you don't pay attention to me and you're telling me its too early" I laugh in disbelief "Y/N FUCKING GO HOME"

My face drops, my heart sinking to my stomach. I leave slamming the bedroom door behind me, tears start to fall down my face walking across the kitchen, passing Nick on the sofa about to head downstairs to the front door. "omg y/n are you okay" Nick rushes over to me bringing his hands to my shoulders bringing me into a hug, I hug him back "I'm fine Nick, I just want to go home" I chocked on tears, "I can go get matt-" I cut him off, panic laced in my voice "NO, I mean no it's fine, I have my bike" I grab my helmet from coffee table, "y/n you can't drive in this condition, it's not safe" his face filled with worry "Nick just leave it please I'm fine" I dont wait for a response and walk down the downstairs and out the door, slamming it behind me.

Nick POV- 8:45am

I jump as y/n slams the door, I storm off to matts room. "what the fuck did you do" I shout at matt, barging in to him laying in bed with the covers over his head, completely covering him, "nick go away" I roll my eyes "fuck no, why did y/n just run out crying her eyes out" he shoots up in shock "what" he speaks softly in surprise, "what the fuck happened this morning" I ask again, "I- um I'm not sure" he stutters, "cut the bullshit matt, how are you not sure what happened" I speak in disbelief of what he's saying, "I dont know, we had a small argument that's all, its fine", I scoff "its not fucking fine matt, she just left here with tears streaming down her face, and you're sat here saying its fine, what is wrong with you", I storm out, not letting him try to defend himself, slamming the door, unintendedly repeating y/ns actions.

Y/N POV- 9am

I quickly pull on my helmet, not fully being able to concentrate on what I'm doing, getting on my bike, and start driving. Thoughts are flying through my head so fast as I try to focus on the road Infront of me, my vision blurred as tears pour down my face. All of a sudden all I can see is a bright headlight getting bigger, then a deafening horn blows as my vision goes black.

Matt POV- 9:07am

Y/n isn't responding to any of my texts and I grow worried. My anxiety is through the roof, pacing around my room, as I leave text after text, voicemail after voicemail. I walk out of my room, my face in my phone, still texting y/n, "woah dude look where your going" Chris laughs out, I look up to him with panicked eyes, "matt what's wrong" furrows brows, "its y/n she's not answering any of my texts or calls, nick said she left crying after we fought, I'm hoping she walked and just went straight to bed but what if-" I stop, looking down at my feet, not wanting to think about the negative possibilities, "what if she rode her bike, its way to dangerous to ride, especially if she cant concentrate on what she's doing" i ramble, looking back at Chris, "dude calm down, I'm sure she's fine" Chris reassures, "I'm going out" I walk out the door, getting into my car before driving to y/ns apartment, I try focus on my breathing while driving. fuck I hit traffic, there's been a crash up the road, a quick thought of it being y/n crosses my mind, I feel a wave of panic rush through me but I push it away, its obviously not her, she's fine, as I get closer to the crash I see a bike, my eyes widen when i realise that its y/ns bike, I slam on my breaks, causing the car behind me to blare his horn, I look around to see where I can pull over.

I manage to pull over and rush over to the scene, a hand hits my chest stopping me from going any closer, "sir you cant go over there" a deep voice comes from beside me, my eyes stuck on y/ns bike, "that's- that's my girlfriends bike" I stutter, trying to get my words out, "I'm afraid I cant let you through" he lowers his hand, "is she here? where is she? please that's her bike- I need to see her" I start to panic looking at the officers face, my eyes wide, tears threatening to spill down my face as terrifying thoughts circle my mind, "I believe the girl on the bike was taken to the nearest hospital, I dont have any other information to give you" the officer calmly stated, I nod, not saying anything, I turn around getting back into my car, going as fast as I can to y/n.

9:36am

I get to the hospital in less than 10 minutes running to the front desk. "y/n- y/n l/n is she here?" I speak before I can process anything, "she's in room 281, she is resting so she might not be awake yet" the receptionist says, reading from her laptop Infront of her. I thank her before running to the elevator, I take a breath before stepping in and pressing the button, anxiously fiddling with my rings as it takes it time to get to her floor. The doors finally open and I rush out, looking side to side looking for her room, I see the numbers 281 on a sign hanging above a door, and immediately run into the room to y/n sleeping. She has dark bags under her eyes, her left arm in a cast, the opposite leg matching her arm. Her face and body covered in bruises, grazes and marks. My heart drops at the sight of her, I run to her side, grabbing her hand, I cant believe the last thing that happened between us was arguing, I hate myself for it, ignoring her reaching out to me. I sit there, my mind punishing me for our last encounter, for what feels like hours. I feel a squeeze on my hand, I immediately look up to see y/n smiling down at me, "hi" she speaks in a soft whisper.

Y/N POV- 10:06am

"oh my god y/n I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry, I-", I cuts him off "matt its okay", his eyes filled with guilt "no, no its not ill do better, ill make time for you ill-" he rambles, I groan as I try to sit up but Matt moves his to lay me back down "y/n lay back down, you need to rest", "matt shut up" I laugh, leaning forward, putting both my hands on either side of his face kissing him deeply. I slowly pull back, a genuine smile across my face, "what?" he chuckles, "nothing, I'm just happy you're here", he moves closer to me pulling me into a tight hug "I'm glad you're okay" he takes a step back still holding onto my shoulders, not letting me go, afraid that if he does I'd disappear. Nick barges into the room, Chris following behind him "omg y/n you're okay" nick pushes past Matt and instantly brings me into his arms, wrapping them around me, I giggle hugging him back. He moves back exhaling a breath he didn't know he was holding, Chris walks up to me engulfing me into a hug "nice to see your still kicking kid, motorbike crashes can be brutal" he moves back and I playfully hit his shoulder. Matt grabs my hand, a gentle smile still on his face.

The doctor walks in looking down at a clipboard "so y/n you should be able to leave tomorrow morning-", her eyes widen when she looks up to 3 same face people looking back at her "oh um hi" she greets awkwardly, "so um I get to leave tomorrow?" I ask trying to relieve the uncomfortable tension in the air, "uh-" she clears her throat "yes, 11am tomorrow you can leave, the hospital wants to keep you in overnight to make sure everything goes smoothly then you're free to go". "Okay cool, so everything is okay?" Nick asks, sat on the left of me on the bed, lightly holding my left arm, "yes everything's fine, it says here that she broke her left wrist, her right knee joint, but other than that you're completely fine". "thank you" I smile as she leaves, I let out a heavy breath, Matt instantly turns to me, his face slightly dropping, "are you okay?", "yea I'm fine, I just dont wanna stay be here any longer" I look down at my lap.

I've always hated hospitals. Ever since my mums passing I dont trust them. Back when I was 15 my mum started struggling with her health, we went to multiple doctors appointments, and made many trips to the hospital trying to find out what was wrong but they just pushed it away as infections, after just over a year she got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer but it was too late, the doctors said it wasn't treatable. My dad was furious, when we found out he went crazy at the doctor, yelling at him, threatening to sue. He almost got kicked out, he only calmed down so he could stay with my mum and I. Ever since then I wouldn't leave her side. We spent every moment together right up until she died. When she passed, I was completely broke, the first 2 months I wouldn't leave my room, my dad would put meals and water outside my room but I barely ate much. The next 3 months after that I was out all night every night, drinking, smoking, partying, and everything in between. The 5th month after she died, I met the triplets at some party, I dont remember much because I was on the edge of a blackout; wasted and out of it. I bumped into Matt, and he took me back to my home. I'm guessing my dad trusted him off the bat because when I woke up he was there asleep on my love sack in the corner of my room, he helped me with my hungover and we talked all day and all night, he didn't leave until 7am the next morning. We were friends for a year after we started dating. We've been dating for 4 years now, and I love him with my whole heart. He saved me. Which is why it hurt so fucking much when Matt started acting differently.

timeskip- 11am the next day

"Y/n wake up baby, its time to go" matt gently shakes me by my shoulders, trying not to hurt me. "mm too early" I groans, turning on my side, accidently moving onto my wrist "ow fuck", "woah baby be careful" he slowly pulls me up so I'm are sat against my pillows. "its 11:07 now, meaning we can leave" he smiles, grabbing a fresh outfit out of a bag he probably got last night. I go to speak but he cuts me off as if he reads my mind "and yes I checked with the doctor, everything is okay and we can definitely leave" as he passes my clothes "thankyou baby." I slowly hang my legs over the bed, "um matt?", "yes baby" he looks to me, "I um" I clear my throat "I might need help" I nod to my my right leg that's in a cast, swinging it a little. "Okay, lets get you dressed first then hm?" he walks over to me, reaching to the pile of clothes next to me, picking up my jorts pulling up my legs being careful of my casted leg, then grabbing my hoodie pulling it over me "thank you baby", "of course" he turns around picking up his bag putting it next to me. "I only brought one shoe cause, well, y'know" he nods to my cast, I laugh as he pulls on my singular shoe. He lastly pulls out my favourite black beanie and pulls it over my head. "I love you" I lean forward, wrapping my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me, kissing his cheek, "I love you too baby, now lets go" he places a singular crutch on the right side of me, then wraps his arm under mine slowly lifting me onto my good foot. I slip my right hand into the crutch, leaning into it, "woah" I wobble almost falling, "easy there trouble" Matt chuckles, catching me. He pulls his bag onto his back, puts on his jacket before turning to me, "do you need help walking or do you think you've got it?", "I think of got it" I say as I try to take a step forward, slightly wobbling before stabilizing myself, "lets go princess" he says placing a hand on my lower back, ready to help if I fall

-11:46am-

As Matt pulls into his driveway, I sigh "finally we're home", turning to undo my seatbelt as Matt rushes round and opens my door, holding out his hand to help you out, I take his hand, carefully stepping out, Matt grabs my crutch handing it to me, I turn to Matt, wrapping my arms around him pulling him into a hug, "are you okay" he wraps his arms around my lower waist, not letting go, "mhm" I hum pushing my head into the crook of his neck, pulling him even closer to me. He doesn't let go until I do, so we stand there like that for like 20 minutes. I step back, my arms still around his neck, "what" he chuckles looking down at me, I shrug, before letting go of him, swivelling on my foot and start walking to the door. Matt places his hand on my lower back as he did before. We get to the stairs I stop, "its okay I got you" Matt says from behind me, I nod and make my way upstairs. Chris sees me from couch and runs to help me if I need it, "Thank you Chris" he hugs me once I get to the top, Matt walks to the kitchen pouring me a glass of water and makes 4 sandwiches for us and his brothers. Chris walks me to the couch and helps me sit down, placing my crutch to the side, handing me the remote, "Here pick something to watch", "no its okay, you pick" I hand back the remote, we go back and forth until Nick walks in taking the remote "how bout I pick something to watch", Chris rolls his eyes "you're just gonna put on RuPaul", "obviously" Nick slumps down next to me, "OW NICK" I yell out in pain "my wrist you dumbass" I explain as I hit his shoulder, "oh my god I'm so sorry" nick frantically apologises "its all good" I let out a breathy laugh. Matt walks over with with our sandwiches, he hands me mine first, then Nick's, then Chris', then sat down with his own, we all thank him as we eat and watch RuPaul's Drag Race.

-2pm-

We've been watching RuPaul for around 3 hours and Chris went back to his room an hour ago. Nick jumps up "I'm gonna go edit tomorrows video" then walks upstairs to his room. Matt looks over to me snuggled into his side "y/n?", "hm?" I hum half asleep, "lets go to bed baby", I dont say anything as Matt picks me up and walks to his room, placing me down into his bed, pulling the covers over me, he lays next to me, wrapping his arm around me

-6:30pm-

I wake up to Matt still asleep next to me, I grab my phone, and start scrolling through tiktok. "y/n?" Matt croaks, "oh sorry did I wake you?" I look up to him, "no its okay" he smiles. "I think Nick's cooking dinner" I smile back, "good I'm so hungry" he gets up and walks to the other side of the bed where I am to help me. I lift my good arm up and he grabs it pulling me up onto my foot, he passes me my crutch and I pull my arm into it, he stands on my left, placing his hand on my lower back to help me if I need it. We walk into the kitchen to Nick cooking burgers, and Chris washing the dishes. "Y/n u okay?" Nick asks placing burgers in the buns on 4 different plates, "yea, this looks goodddd" I drag out walking over, going to pick up the plate then seeing the cast on my arm "fuck", I look over to Matt who's quietly laughing to himself walking over picking up both our plates, following me to the couch. We sit down and I grab my plate with my good hand and place it onto my lap and start eating. Nick sits next to Matt and Chris sits next to me. "fuck" i place my head in my hands, the boys turn to me, furrowing their eyebrows, "what?" chris asks tilting his head to the side, "my fucking bike is wrecked ughh" i lean back against the back of the couch throwing my head back in frustration, "its okay baby, we'll take it to get fixed " Matt reassures, "i hope its not totally fucked, i really love that bike" i shake my head a little, looking back down at my food then to Matt, who has a gentle smile on his face, which leads me to almost completely forget about my bike. We all eat our food while watching tv and talking all night about anything and everything, like we used to.

-1am-

"I'm tired so I'm gonna head to bed, love u" I stand up and start walking to Mine and Matts room, "love youuu" nick smiles, "goodnight kid" Chris waves, "I'll come down in a bit love" Matt, "okay baby" I smile. "ew bAbY " Chris cringes, "shut up Chris" Nick lightly punches his shoulder. I walk into our room and lay down on my side, carefully trying not to hurt my wrist or leg, and slowly fall asleep. "Hey baby" Matt walks into our room, placing a glass of water on my bedside table then going to lay down, "hi" I speak softly, half asleep. he cuddles next to me, wrapping his arms around me, I snuggle my head into the crook of his neck. "i love you baby" he quietly speaks, "i love you too Matty" I mumble as I drift off to sleep.

-timeskip- 2 1/2 months later- 11:15am-

"cmon mattyy" i whine "my bike is finally fixed and your taking foreverrrr" i stand against the kitchen island while matt slides on his shoes "your bike isnt going anywhere y/n, dont worry" he chuckles standing up. I run over to him grabbing his hand, rushing over to the stairs "careful baby, your going fall and break ur bones again" he holds onto my hand so i dont fly down because of how fast i was going, "im just happy, both my wrist and leg are fully healed and my bike is finally ready for me" i excitedly ramble "i know i know" he laughs.

-11:46am-

Matt pulls into the parking space and before he can switch the car off, ive taken off my seatbelt and jumped out of the car. He shakes his head with a smile as he watches me eagerly walk over to the shop. I walk in and greet the man at the desk, Matt eventually follows in behind me, "hi my names y/n im here to pick up my yamaha yzf-r6" i smile, looking down at the seated man, "ah yes, i see shes all fixed up, pretty nasty crash ay?" he nods "yeah" i nasally laugh. He stands up and walks into the backroom, 30 seconds later he walks back out with my bike keys. "Here you are" he hands me the keys "my coworker is already outside and he will take you to your bike" he smiles, pointing to the side door, "thank you, have a nice day" i walk out the door, squeezing matts hand. We walk over to the mans coworker and he takes us to my bike. I start it up, pulling on my helmet and the man points out the exit, we thank him and he walks away. Matt gets into his car and i pull up next to him, "race you home?" i slightly shout over the noise of my bike, he nods and quickly pulls away, i laugh and pull down the throttle, immediately passing him. i lift my hand flipping him off, not looking back to him as to not crash again.

-12:17am-

i pull into the open garage and matt is nowhere to be seen, i turn off my bike but continue to sit on it with my legs off the side as i scroll through instagram. "how am i not surprised you beat me home" matt laughs placing his hands on the sides of my thighs, making me jump a little. "im just too good" i joke, doing a sassy hair flip off my shoulder, "come on a ride with me?" i ask looking up to him, he shakes his head a little, "pleaseeeee" i beg, bringing my hands together 🙏, he takes a defeated breath not wanting to bicker and agrees, "okay fine baby, but just this once, it scares me on the back of that thing" he laughs walking over to the shelves on the wall, grabbing his helmet, "you know you love it" i giggle from my bike. matt walks back over to me, pulling on his helmet he throws a leg over the bike sitting down. "hold on matty" i tell him as i start my bike back up, he quickly wraps his arms around my waist holding on tightly, "not too tight" i quickly pat his hand, "sorry baby" he apologises as he rests his head on my back. i reverse out of the driveway, and pull out into the road.

We drive around the streets for 5/10 minutes then i pull onto the highway. I look around and then start to speed up, "not too fast trouble" matt says from behind me, to which i speed up even more, he laughs in response. as we speed down the fast lane, red and blue lights start to flash behind us, "fuck" i whisper-yell, seeing the cops in my rearview mirror, "y/n baby pull over, we can just pay the ticket" matt says, a little worried knowing what is most likely about to happen, i dont say anything as i consider what he says, i just spent a huge chunk of my money fixing my bike, i wasnt about to spent another on a fucking speeding ticket, i shake my head and pull the throttle straight down, speeding up fast, matts arms cling onto me to not fall off. the sirens start to fall quiet as we get away, "y/n i said to pull over, we couldve paid the ticket" matt speaks up as we pull off the highway into our area, "fuck that, why would i when we both know that im fast enough to just speed away" i sassily quip back as we get onto our street, matt laughs shaking his head at my antics. We pull into our driveway and i take off my helmet, shaking my head a little waving my hair out, "god youre hot" matt whispers under his breath, admiring me getting off the bike "what was that?" i ask placing my helmet on the shelf then turning back to him, he walks over to me and places his hands around my waist "i said, god youre hot" he smirks looking down at me. my cheeks flush red as i wrap my arms around his neck, i pull down and bring him into a kiss. "i love you matty b" i smile up at him, he smiles back at me "i love you more my little biker baby"

-

i never know how tf to end these things lmao

feedback is appreciated if u wanna give it🙏🙏

my third story💪💪

taglist: @junnniiieee07 @raysmayhem-72 @m0r94n @sturnzsblog @euphoric-mind-07 @nyktoxs-lover @sturniolo-slvt

[stealingpotatoes]

POTES FINISHES KOTOR!

i planned on going to bed early tonight but the kotor brainworms made me finish the game and WHAT A GAME MAN!!! anyway sessions 10-12:

the t in ten stands for traumatised

i love how i was like omg i hope i find revan and theyre my best friend! but the second i found out i was revan i was screaming and running away like NOPE NO GET OUT OF HERE

just want it to be noted that in the hours between playing this morning and now ive repeatedly caught myself just staring into space w blank expression its all ive thought abt all day like what has this game DONE to me

i literally had to make a revan playlist earlier lmao i havent even finished the game

also i searched revan on my blog and turns out last year i got an ask where i discovered revan was a customisable protagonist and yet i still walked into this spoiler free, meaning i managed to outrun spoilers via stupidity or having a horrible memory or both. im the ultimate anti-spoiler machine

tbh it didnt help that i thought revan was a bloke for at least the first like, 6 hours

you know one of my first ideas when i first started the game was "this character is going to die and then i will play as revan" and after the first mission i was like "well surely there must be a segment where you play as revan where did i get the idea that you play as revan from" the mental gymnastics i did around the truth are impressive this game gaslit me SO hard

i know its been like 8 hours since i experienced it but if anyone calls me revan again i will start crying anyway lets find carth's son and get this star map

i still cant think of revan as myself it feels like shes some dead sister i never met that's not me i cant compute it

i get why one of the options earlier was "oh i understand bastila" but i did not pick that bc SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL THEY DID USE ME!!! LIKE!

anyway time to have one of my first times playing a party without b-dog ): ill get u back babygirl (hold out for me plz dont get darksided) ill bring murderbot or the child soldier for now

ah i love carth and mission arguing. carth has no people skills

im sorry we've had a spice shipment onboard this whole time??? i wouldve liked to have known that some hours ago substance abuse would definitely help my identity issues

aw carth n mission made up! [lie/persuade] i agree she's not just a kid we should tooootally have her in active combat situations

this sith academy is crazy wdym ppl r out here starving and dying to get in

i love that i said my companions were slaves

wtf theres only one bed. okay mission you can have the bed me and carth can sleep on the floor

onasi i recognise that sur-- DUSTIL?? SHIT CARTH ONASI OH MY GOD I FORGOR

well that went about as well as bastila's family reunion. it's okay tho cause the parental issue solver is on the case carth i will have this shit fixed asap

these tombs suck

i love that my party members have stopped following me this is useful and great i love having to manually move them everywhere 10/10 gaming

im avoiding the dark side options so hard rn idc if i'll get less prestige i CANNOT risk going evil IM NOT REVAN

ive had so many options to be like "well get fucked im darth revan" but i dont want to get laughed at or anything so im just gonna stay quiet

also i still havent accepted it and i think saying i was revan might make my character find the panic attack dialogue option

ok we got kidnapped and electrocuted by a kiddie fiddler and that seemed to fix the companions not following me problem

slay i just stole the master's ipad and that solved dusty's daddy issues. literally i could have fixed the original trilogy im so good at parental issues if i was born 4000 years later there wouldve been no star wars movies it'd be chill

sw fix-it au: revan is just There

aww theyre bonding <3 <3 <3 <3

yay i did enough stuff to enter the tomb <3 cool i'll do that later

hilarious that mr sith master was like ok fine i will declare u the victor when everyone else who applied is either dead or left the building

ELEVEN ALSO RHYMES WITH REVAN AND i'm still not over it man

god gives his toughest battles (my friend was having boyfriend problems) to his bravest soldiers (me who wanted to start playing kotor again immediately after dinner but had to be a good friend and help her)

anyway back to REAL problems. let's go get this starmap

i dislike seeing malak on the opening screen now. he literally tried to blow me up and he may have killed or kidnapped bastila i dont wanna see that bitch

can we use our force bond to like. message bastila and check she's ok bc im taking everything this game said as foreshadowing and she talked a LOT about how no jedi is immune to the dark side you know. can we make malak hasnt reverse-revan'd her

looked up a walkthrough for that pillar business cause its late and while i know it would feel satisfying to get it right, i can't be assed

pillar isn't a word anymore

oh i kinda thought if i sided w yuthara i'd be able to talk her into going lightside but wompwomp

oh yay a talk!

ok she left i got lightside points thats close enough

lets get out of here before anyone starts questioning why i came back alone from the tomb

omg lena from mission's brother's girlfriend… and shes not a bitch???? oh my god griff was the bitch lena sounds so nice lets go to tatooine

im realising ive probably missed out on a lot of sidequests by only taking b-dog and carth out for missions but uhhh

i understand that it's very important that we save the galaxy by finding this star forge but you know what i love more than saving the galaxy? drama. we're going to find mission's brother

MALAK WAS THE ORIGINAL MEATBAG

man the evil stuff sounds bad but come on revan-me had a good sense of humour. meatbag (:

fuck me sideways with a toothbrush we've got to go do walking simulator in the sand dunes again to find mission's brother

this game really makes you understand luke skywalker bc i too would be desperate to leave this planet if i spent more than a week here

oh my god so youre saying if i just walked around the full tusken base then i wouldve found mission's brother. this is what i get for not exploring every nook and cranny

im not giving griff shit. u just know in the modern day he'd have a podcast and constantly share those entrepreneur tips on instagram, thinking he was an alpha male when he has $2 and no bitches

my textures arent loading in this is so funny everything is yellow and white

ok heres the plan its very late i should be in bed but this is probably the final mission so im gonna get ready for bed and then come back to this and we're gonna pretend i make healthy life choices and that i'm not addicted to this game

session 12! yep!

and it's been so long it's definitely the morning now so theres a whole new session it's definitely not only been 10 minutes since the last bullet point and im definitely not gonna play this all night

i make healthy life decisions lets find this star forge babygirls

NOO GET AWAY FROM MY FRIEND BASTILA YOU EGGFUCKER GET AWAY

i hope the star forge has a bin i can toss malak into

christ on a bike thats a lot of ships

this secret star forge planet is lovelyyyyy. vacation planet

btw my save file is called 'tanalorr is mine' and this planet is… well its making me feel validated for calling it that

why do these ppl keep attacking me im just a chill guy

of course theres an energy shield. theres always some kind of energy shield

are u being fr? mandalorians?? get a job u guys.

omg the fish guys know im revan????

omg YOU CAN LEARN LANGUAGES W THE FORCE?? INCREDIBLE

well presumably i missed the nonlethal option to get the scout back cause i am killing this entire base rn

omg who cares im maxed out light side i have lightbeams behind me in the character menu

every time someone talks abt me n malak goin somewhere when we were besties makes me sad. like i get i was revan and evil then but still we were besties ): now we're enemies ):

great. the bad guys are gonna be inside waiting for me. this is so uncharted-core

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MALAK’s FACE HOW IS HE ALIVE THATS SO MUCH JAW GONE

is that--?? bastila queen why r u wearing black

NOO HER ASS GOT TRILLA'D!!

ok i think that convo went ok i got lightside points im gonna get her back

well aside from bastila and the murder of an entire village i think that went very well lets go sodomise a star forge

i really have got to stop using the english language in the way i do. we're gonna defeat the star forge how about that. thats better

MASTER TORTIMER SURVIVED

YAY MY GIZKA ARE BACK ONBOARD!!!!!!!!!

bringing HK cause i want him to call malak a meatbag again

love that malak's like the droids will defeat the jedi when i literally have the destroy droid ability. get fucked eggbitch

these fights are just getting annoying now where are these guys even coming from

you know what? i dont wanna fight these twats im just gonna walk away and head to where i wanna go without fighting

tf why cant i open

its rlly funny that im revans master when he called bastila a child and its implied we’re a similar age

B-DOG!! COME TO THE LIGHT

FAT W I REDEEMED BASTILA

wow we have to get off this space station before our allies blow it up, meanwhile i have to fight a bald guy with breathing problems who was responsible for a crazy reveal in the second act. deja vu…

the bastila boss fight was easy-as so i assume the malak one is gonna fucking suck

i worked out how to stop him turning the jedi into sundried tomatoes

malak is so much taller than me lmao

bit sad i didnt get to have hk call malak a meatbag again and also what happened to his face we never covered that

YEAHH WOOOOOOOOO

ooh an honour guard… a hero’s welcome

YAYYYYY MEDAL CEREMONY CLASSIC STAR WARS

taking screenshots of the gang together like a parent with their kids

IM GRINNING SO HARD RN

I DID IT I FINISHED THE GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A GOOD GAME GODDAMN. GAME OF THE YEAR IDC IF IT CAME OUT 22 YEARS AGO oh my god me n this game r basically the same age wtf

and i did it in true potes-star-wars-games fashion bc its way past midnight as it was when i finished jfo and js <3

ANYWAY HOLY SHIT!! WHAT A GAME!!!!! that plot im going completely and utterly insane over that plot i see why revan is such an aggressive fan favourite its not a time of day (night) that i can come up w coherent thoughts but wow. wow!

definitely want to replay as a dark sider at some point (and maybe mod the shit out of the game too)

thankfully ive already bought the sequel (and been informed of the restored content thing) so thats ready to go whenever im ready to give up my entire life for a kotor addiction again! yippee!

what a good story. gameplay was fairly fun despite its often-awfulness until the ending where it got a bit tedious and i felt like a diabetic with how much i was injecting myself in the leg but like! THE STORY!!!! THE CHARACTERS!!! EBON HAWK CREW MY BESTEST FRIENDS

man!

well. im not gonna shut up abt this for a while am i. look all im saying is i should probably drop a weather warning on u all cause the kotor fandom is not ready for the fanart tidal wave known as stealingpotatoes that about to hit them. batten down your fuckin hatches

KOTOR MY BEAUTIFUL BEST FRIEND MY WIFE I LOVE YOU MWAH GOOD NIGHT MY SWEET PRINCE

also to u, gentle reader, thank u for joining me on this journey <3 i hope u had as much fun as i did lmao

POTES SEMI-LIVEBLOGS KOTOR!

ive been writing my thoughts in the notes app but due to popular demand (one person asked for it) i'm posting my liveblogging DO NOT SAY/TAG/COMMENT SPOILERS PLEASE i read tags

warning im a yapper, im 10 hours in and theres a lot already (separated into sessions):

SESSION 1

whos this clown i thought i would be playing as revan

ive been too spoiled by dragon age origins this character creator sucks ass

only human???? ): fr?? ill just imagine her different in my brain or some shit

my life is being mansplained to me. is this bad writing or do i have amnesiacs

hes meta now??? hes talking abt the screen controls?????

omg a jedi and an evil jediii

omg their asses suckedddd they both died immediately

i <3 bringing a sword to a gun fight

WHY R THERE SO MANY SITH WHERE IS TJE RULE OF TWO

i clicked a workbench and it said lightsaber so either i get a lightsaber or i get a jedi friend whose lightsaber i can steal if im careful

I assume u play as revan in kotor2 so im gonna buy that now so i can play it when im done playing w this clown

i got light side points im getting a good grade in game morality which is something both normal to want and possible to achieve

everyone keeps saying revan is dead but thats my friend revan from tumblr hes clearly alive. or they???

my characters ass is distractingly present onscreen

huge fan of the way everyone collapsed drunk what the FUCK was in that wine

ok these sith ppl might be the bad guys but their armour is DRIPPY AS FUCK

ideologically i dont agree w the sith but they kinda went off w the fits

googling how to become a sith without being evil cause they have Drip

SESSION 2

i paid £1.19 to see revan he better show up in this game at some point

all these sith n i still cant find one revan….. stop faking ur death rn come out n talk to me babygirl this isnt like u….

why can i be light/dark side if im not a jedi. give me a laser sword

maybe this jedi gyal will know where revan is faking his death. or give me a fuckin lightsaber PLEASEEE

was just thinking 'does this game have romance' and then carth called me beautiful. i dont think im gonna romance anyone until i get this amnesia sorted

why is carth questioning me so much abt the crash im pretty sure i have amnesia

why tf did the jedi lady have me transferred to this ship are we in lesbians with each other???

carth's not wrong it is suspicious but i lowkey have amnesia so i coulda done that i coulda not

a lot of clone wars voice actors in this. was lucasfilm so broke in the 2000s that they could only afford the same 3 VAs for every project

mission is 14??????? we need to get my girl back in school

SESH 3

tale as old as time i fucking suck at racing games

ok i didnt realise you had to mash click i won

REVAN!!! REVAN!!!!!!!!!

why am i dreaming abt revan tho. real as hell but ?????

lmao cringe revan getting blown up. i thought the jedi beat rev-meister in a fight but no. accident

"such visions are often a sign of force sensitivity" COOL YAY GIVE ME A LIGHTSABER

BASTILLE LOST HER FUCKING LIGHTSABER??

CARTH IS RIGHT THATS LIKE DAY ONE JEDI SHIT. ok i still love her even tho shes a bit of a bitch and also doesnt have a saber

if we find a lightsaber im taking it first tho

whys carth getting weird abt me being weird that he doesnt trust me. i just wanna be friends mate

SESH IV: A NEW HOPE

'i mean no disrespect, but perhaps one of the male slaves could serve you better' i went in here to start a slave revolution and instead got called a lesbo

LMAO THERES A SPICE LAB???? WALTER WHITE WHERE ARE YOU

thats insaneee they blew up BILLIONS of people to get to one jedi?????? these sith arent fucking around theyre scary

UM THIS IS CRAZY GRAPHICS THE LIGHTING IS CLEARER/DARKER WHEN I COVER THE SUN W THE SHIP EDGE?? 2003 IS THE YEAR OF THE FUTURE

someone just called me padawan i kinda assumed i was in my late 20s do i just have baby vibes

all the jedi in the movies are so chill but every kotor jedi i've met so far has been a bit of a bitch

YO THEY HAVE A YODA!!! its not THE yoda but

cool so these guys are just the regional managers at best. your asses are not the council

why can everyone smell my force juju so strong

THATS STRAIGHT UP YODA'S CLONE WARS VA

why does fake yoda not blink both eyes at the same time. im calling him master tortimer he reminds me of the animal crossing mayor

bastila there was no need for such a fancy bow

malak is like evil aang

revan is so much shorter than malak omg

are me and bastila sharing dreams. are we both obsessed w revan

poor mission ):

WHAT WAS MASTER TORTIMER ABT TO SAY????????? EVER SINCE WHEN??? DID WE KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE MY AMNESIACS????? DID BASTILA TELL U SMTHN MORE WHEN I WASNT IN THE ROOM???

im intrigued i like this whole hidden jedi shtick its very compelling. so is whatever theyre hiding from me

kinda surprising no jedi found me before tho given my force juju is so strong

IM A LEGIT JEDI NOW??? SICK!!!

does revan rlly not have pronouns i thought that was a tumblr thing but they straight up are a nonbinary icon ive never heard a single pronoun used. revan's pronouns are revan/revan's

damn revan seems so cool in these stories (charismatic war hero that convinced their troops to join them as conqueror?? julius caesar) and yet all we've seen them do onscreen is get blown up and die by accident

A YEAR AGO? the way they were talking i assumed revan died like. a week before the game started

master uh i forgot his name he has martin scorcese vibes said revan was a paragon of the jedi so what im getting is that all jedi gifted kids turn evil

even if i didnt know revan as a tumblr darling id KNOW revan has to be alive somewhere they way everyone talks abt them is too cool for a character who exploded and died. i think. i hope. I PAID £1.19 TO MEET REVAN

'only you and bastila can stop malak' seriously????? just us two?? ive been a jedi for like, 6 minutes and you guys keep calling bastila young???? do you guys not wanna help??

omg im getting carth to traumadump! <3

HE WAS ON REVAN'S ARMY>??

i totally knew the jedi code and did not have to google it whatsoever

they rlly said fuck going to illum heres a crystal from the bin

he told me id be a great sentinel and i was like i know but i want blue cause i dont wanna be matchies with bastila

OGH!!! I HAVE A LIGHTSABER!!!! THIS IS GAME OF THE YEAR!!!!

omg i made my lightsaber perfectlyyy which is rare <3 getting a good grade in jedi

maybe i was a travelling lightsaber salesman before my amnesia

seriously though WHO was i everyone's kinda stopped acting like i have amnesia since the first mission BUT IVE PLAYED DRAGON AGE THAT GIVES YOU OPPORTUNITIES TO RP UR PAST. THIS DOESNT. EITHER THIS GAME IS BAD (but i love it so its not) OR I HAVE RETROGRADE AMNESIA

also everyone keeps being like "Oh ur force juju is so strong" AND NOBODY FOUND ME TIL NOW??? suspicious. did getting a really bad concussion activate the force in me

im too confused and amnesiac'd to think abt anything except the fact i have a glowing stick now

FSESH FIVE:

big fan of using aliens to avoid having to get VAs to read every line

oh so carth's boyfriend saul betrayed him and became leader of the sith fleet so he has trust issues

well he needs to calm down. i can't betray him cause i dont know what the fuck is happening

yooo i love the design differences on the mandalorians

oh my god this lady wanted to fuck her droid cause it was her husband's. and then it killed itself. wtf. game of the year tho

wtf they jebaited this juhani person into going dark side but then i talked her out of it. that seems a bit mean of them

i hope she can join my party she looks too unique to be a random npc

ive been thinking and I might be going crazy but there was a loading screen tip ages ago that said jedis could wipe ppl's mind and all i thought at the time was 'fuck the shitshow acolyte didnt make that up'. but what if one of them wiped MY memory and i used to be a jedi or smthn ????????

cause they keep being like ur weirdly good at this??? did bastila steal my memories??????????

I KNOW I HAVE AMNESIA!! EVEN IF EVERYONE DOESN'T BRING IT UP BC THEYRE PROBABLY TRYING TO SAVE MY FEELINGS

if i dont have amnesia and im just deeping the fact the opening had my life being mansplained then im gonna look real stupid

anyway time 2 go to the fuckshit ruins cave where r-dog and malak went to

"it must be referring to revan. the dark lord and malak--" revan's pronouns are revan/thedarklord

bastila said theres no mention of the Builders in the archives. does she just know every text off by heart

THIS DROID IS 20K YEARS OLD ???

omg i can equip 2 lightsabers at once. game of the year

OK I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT THE AMNESIA BASTILA IS ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY BACKGROUND THAT I CAN ANSWER. I REPEAT I DO NOT HAVE AMNESIA

ok i didnt get choices and i didnt really uh… say anything that i didnt already get told im still not ruling out amnesia

also booo i didnt get to find out how old i was

master tortimer rlly looks like the ultimate ketamine yoda

LMAO THERE WAS A DIALOGUE OPTION 2 CALL JUHANI A CATGIRL

omg kashyyk from jedi fallen order!!!

I CAN UPGRADE MY LIGHTSABER THIS IS JUST LIKE JFO

omg this ship is fun i wish everyone had personalised bunk spaces like hfw… a game which came out 19 years after this i should probably just take what we have

im gonna start w manaan cause im p sure thats what B-dog said n its the same language the droid was speakin

omg hyperspace from star wars

THE GUY THE BUILDING FELL ON???

am i having dreams abt revan bc bastila killed revan and im connected to her this is so roundabout

maybe i'd sleep better if my ponytail wasnt clipping into the pillow

[kiwi accent] six

carth needs a xanax every time i think we're friends he stops trusting me

also lmao he actually pointed out how wild it was that a day one padawan is being sent on this uber important mission and HES RIGHT IT IS WEIRD!! i thought it was main character logic but he's calling it out

i really really like the sense of unease that's setting in like at first i thought it was just cause im not used to 2003 games but no this is on purpose bc carth my friend carth keeps calling it out

THERE IS A CHILD ON MY SHIP ??????????????????

lmao the representative for menaan is roland wann. its like poetry it rhymes

there are no cameras in the sith hangar <3 rookie error i can commit crimes now

bastila's favourite hobby is getting shot and walking into my grenades

this isnt a combat system this is a missing system

I GOT ARRESTED???? IM JUST A GIRL

nvm i had a datapad that said the sith were evil so theyve let me go free and we're besties

why do i feel like ive just walked into an underwater horror mission

this suit waddles at the speed of a penguin on fentanyl

i tamed the beastie this is like how to train your dragon

MALAK FIRED ON REVAN?????? WERENT THEY BEST FRIENDS???????

but maybe revan escaped when bastila wasnt looking THEYRE FINE THEYRE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. I BELIEVE

so hopefully when we run into revan they'll be like agh i changed my ways cause of the being shot thing and they'll be my bestie

great news i successfully communicated w the ship child and gave her back to dantooine. my girl has shockingly good linguisitics skills

bastila is so dour "oh watch out for the dark side" GIRL I AM. I NEED TO GET THE BEST GRADE IN GAME MORALITY

ok OFF TO KASHYYK i hope cal kestis is there… thru the force i guess… bc he wont be born for another 4000 years but its whatever

omg you'll never guess what. another vision. wow its one of the thangs. cool this is a tomorrow me problem

[momiamtired]

i tremble and panic when remembering what my life will be. im scared and lonely and i dont want anything else, just to see my family and home. for some reason i feel like in mt first days here, and even then it wasnt that bad. im afraid of the idea that i have to get used to this. i don t find living in the apartments and going to work that scary but still just understanding of how life plays with me makes me feel misserable. oh how i wish i never looked up this university in google, when i was lying in my warm bed at the winter, excited, because i found western university that will bring me to my dreams and actually is afordable for my family. i feel so stupid and im so sorry dad i am you spend so much money on me and im not even grateful. this fucker oh fuck he asks if 2 pm is okay for me. i dont think any pm is okay for me. i think tomorrow will be horrible. i dont think he thinks of me in a romantic way, he has some chicks name in his user name sticker. i fucking hate him. but i wish he could comfort me. he probably doesnt care in the slightest ab me. for some reason i kinda feel like omori? is this a strange reference idk. well omori song just started playing so i thought of it. i feel like i dont really should be in this world. i want to come back to what it used to be. i guess a lot of people think about the same things but uh yeah. i guess tomorrows gonna be awful. i really dont want to see him espercially this early but i have to get out of the house, it will fucking eat me alive. i must have studied a lot today but ima lazy ass and cryed all day. i hate that the idea of crying is so normalized today. its like oooh i cried because of this dead pigeon!! wtf no i believe tears are not for this. people cry when they experience strong emotions. my other roommate is singing songs in the shower god i hate her. its 9 pm btw. she screams like a pig. sometimes she is nice and i truly believe she is a nice person. i still hate her and would like to see her dead. but no right now. im not that angry right now. when i think of my mom i start to cry. i miss her so much. it was always like this when i was a kid, i would always cry when i was at sleepovers. i dont know why, its a strange feeling. it is reallt strange. when im okay i dont even want to talk to her, its like i dont have a lot of stimuli to do so? but when i feel bad the only oerson i want to call is her. i guess shes the only one who i believe would reallt care. not even my best friend who i would always call the best person in my life. im just a bad person. when she tells me that something happened to her im always kinda happy it happened. its not always like this but sometimes i feel like oh lol ye u deserved it bc there is enough good in ur life. im just an awful always jelous person. i guess world would be a better place without people like me. people like me are the people who shoot schools. i would be happier if it uh fuck again its like when u remembering something like just spontaneus and u immediately start to cry and tremble and like idk feel bad? i feel so so so homesick. i didnt feel that homesick at the start and here i am after 3 months here. i really love my parents and actually my home i am so sorry that i never told anyone this or idk oh god im so so sorry i never respected never understood. i guess its just that im homesick and my home isnt that good but tbh i cant of a thing better rn than my home. fuck any other place. fuck heaven. i just wish i could my cat and my mom sitting and talking loud at 7 am when the sun is rising with her mom and she will make me awake and i will go and ask her to be quiet really angryshly and she will go to her room and i will try to sleep again but now i cant so i smoke my vape and browse through tiktok, lying in underwear and some t shirt, then my cat will come to me and start meowing for me to play with him, i will annoignly play alittle bit with him and then proceed to do my every day morning chores. but summer in my country when u have friends is amazing. i mean my city. okay i will end now to mush words